There was no wild partying for me this New Year’s Eve, I’m afraid, unless you count one mudslide at dinner.

Yeah, a mudslide. I saw someone else order one, and it looked so damned good with its whipped cream and chocolate syrup, I had to have it.

The rest of the evening was spent at B.’s watching Daniel Craig (that sexy beast) kick some ass in Cowboys and Aliens and staying up extraordinarily late sifting through other Netflix films online.

Truly I am old.

New Year’s resolutions? Well, I have one. In order to remove the ten pounds I packed on from quitting smoking, I have started the Atkins diet.

I know this comes as quite a shock to all of you, as I never discuss my weight, food, or my hatred of both.

So far I am eating a lot of bacon and eggs, and life is good. You really can’t mess with bacon. I could probably eat nothing but bacon for the rest of my life and be totally cool with that.

My cholesterol level, however, would probably protest.

The J-Man returned to school today, and there was much weeping and gnashing of teeth. It’s a good thing, though, because I think his XBox was about ready to melt from overuse.

Speaking of the J-Man, he’s been hanging out with a Very Pretty Girl.

About two weeks ago, they went out for lunch at a local Mexican joint and then came back here to play video games (yes, she’s a gamer – therefore she could not be more perfect), and I am not kidding you when I tell you that she’s one of the cutest girls I have ever seen.

She came over on New Year’s Eve for a while, too, and stayed for dinner. She was extremely polite, complimenting both the food and my eyeshadow (worming her way into my heart), and was generally a sweet kid.

I am so proud of my little pimp daddy that I don’t have the words. He’s certainly had his popularity problems throughout junior high, but this is a major coup.

Here’s hoping it goes well.

I’m sad to say that lately I am completely neurologically screwed. I’m having seizures right and left, shaking like a leaf, and having a lot of neuropathy and pain. I’m not sure what’s going on – whether the cold weather is messing with me, or whether I’m just going through a random bad spell – but I have a neurologist appointment on Thursday, so hopefully I can get some testing done and some meds switched up or something and this can be nipped in the bud.

Until then, it’s muscle relaxers and Vicodin cocktails galore. I loathe taking all of these damned drugs, but if I don’t I’m a long string of misery.

Jen Trance, coming to you live and high.

In still other news, yesterday we took the Christmas trees down and put away all of the assorted Christmas Crap, and while I was on a roll, I decided to clean out my dresser drawers and closet.

People, I had no idea I was hoarding so much shit. I wound up with four huge black garbage bags of stuff for Amvets. Shoes, clothes, crappy handbags, stuff that people could still get use out of but that is not quite worth eBaying.

I did come up with quite a few things I am going to sell on eBay, too, though. I have some winter coats I don’t wear and some boots that can go.

Once I’m no longer largely couch-bound, I’m going to get on it.

If I’m up to it today, I’m going to go blonde, because once again I have the itch.

I have a sickness.

Happy Tuesday, and Happy New Year.

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