November 11th, 2011 | Author: trancejen
I am actually breathing today, which is a good sign, and I haven’t smoked yet, despite my rather insane stress level.
Good times.
I have, however, eaten my weight in M&Ms. In fact, I would like to personally thank the Mars/M&M company for getting me through this difficult time. Your addictive little candy-coated choco-pellets have been my saving grace and have prevented me from both smoking and choking the crap out of people who desperately deserve it.
I’m the Human Zit, but oh, well. Sacrifices must be made.
Yes, my stepdad is a douche, and yes, this situation sucketh mightily, and yes, I need to move; but realistically, I can’t right now. I don’t have the cash flow yet, I don’t have transportation, and I can’t pull J. out of school again. I just can’t. The kid, as much as he is not down with my stepdad, honestly likes his friends here and would be freaking traumatized if we had to move again. And I just can’t afford this area on my own.
It’s unspeakably lame, it sucks, and it’s going to be a bitch, but I’m going to have to suck it up and deal with it for the time being.
I don’t really have much of a choice.
My mother did speak to him about everything he said and he apparently retracted ninety percent of it under duress, claiming that B. is always welcome here and that so are the J-Man’s friends (ha). He’s also being extremely and uncharacteristically nice to me, so m mother must have guilt-tripped him pretty badly.
I don’t care, really. The damage was done.
Chalk this up to more emotional bullshit I can stuff deep down inside and repress only to bring up later through some sort of self-destructive behavior.
Heh.
In other news, it’s the weekend, which means I can escape to the movies (Rum Diary is looking great) or to dinner for B.’s birthday or shopping or wherever.
Anywhere but here.
Happy Friday, and happy Veteran’s Day to those who served, are serving, and will serve.
Hi Jenn! Oh my! You hit a nerve with this entry. Why is there the presumption that children are traumatized when they have to change schools? If that is the case, then my children were tramatized with 5 school changes while their father served 20 years in the USN Submarine Fleet. Both of them graduated HS with High Honors despite this trauma and I wouldn’t consider either of them to be overly gifted. If the other facets of your less than ideal living situation could be worked out, would having to change schools for your son be a deal breaker?
Could you afford that area if you had a roommate? You would be trading your current roommates for a different roommate (and different problems)….which could be a good thing or a bad thing, obvs.
Oh my. I’m sorry to hear of the jackhole’s recently assholery. Try not to take his tirades personally. He is projecting and misdirecting his anger, anxieties and fears. Your are his most convenient whipping post and he is using you to obtain relief for himself which is the epitome of selfishness. I hope you find a way out of there soon. Also, I’m glad to hear that your Mom did a beatdown. It was well-deserved for sure.
Susie, he’s just… delicate that way. I don’t know. I’ve talked to him about it. He’s not a resilient kid when it comes to change. I wish he were more that way, but I think it has a lot to do with his anxiety problems. I’m in no way saying that all kids are traumatized by changing schools or moving or anything like that. I think most kids are a lot more resilient and adaptable, for sure. I just know my own kid, and we’ve discussed it, and the very thought of moving right now freaks him out HARDCORE. But we are talking about it, and he does recognize that our living situation is not healthy for either of us. It’s just something we’re going to have to work out. I’m still considering moving within the next year or two, just trying to work out whether I can somehow afford to stay in the area. If I can’t, I can’t, and maybe we will have to cut our losses and move to a different area. I’m not sure at this point of anything, really.
Lisa, I am considering a roommate. That’s definitely on the menu.
Amy, yeah. I will e-mail you. There’s bitchin’ to be done.
Hope you did see Rum Diary – I really liked it! Johnny Depp is great.