October 7th, 2011 | Author: trancejen
I drank approximately forty cups of coffee last night at a local coffee shop while talking about government and health care and idealism and my future. I came home to my parents’ house with the boy I lost my virginity to and had an absolutely insane amount of mad, crazy, monkey sex. I didn’t bother to wash my face last night, which will surely amount to a face full of pimples. I texted until three AM. I got three hours of sleep. I still smell like boy.
Hello, I am eighteen again.
I freaking love it.
Surely this bodes badly for my health and I am going to crash and burn, but before that happens, before that fateful day; I am going to enjoy the shit out of it.
What I haven’t said about B. is that he more than likely has the worst version of MS, Primary Progressive. He walks with a cane due to foot drop in both feet and has a plethora of other MS-related problems. He’s also on disability, but is in school at the moment to become a nurse. Obviously he won’t be able to be a floor nurse, but he plans to be an advocate for people with disabilities and work in some sort of administrative capacity.
I joke that between the two of us, we have one good brain.
I find it so strange that we’ve been going through a lot of the same things – the fight with Social Security, the endless neurologist visits and testing, the pain, the bullshit.
It connects us on a fairly deep level.
Last night he looked at me and said, “God, this is intense.”
It is.
It doesn’t scare me, though. I feel as if I’m right where I’m supposed to be.
In other news, it’s sleepover night at Chez Trance, which means there will be no sleep again tonight as my house is visited by one of the kids from the cul de sac. This so happens to be one of the kids who very recently made the J-Man cry. Am I holding a grudge? I’m trying to follow the J-Man’s example and not do so, but I have to admit that it’s very, very, very difficult.
This particular kid is the J-Man’s “best friend” (most of the time) and he’s normally a well-mannered, nice kid, but I think he very occasionally subscribes to the mob mentality and once the others start in on J., follows along.
I don’t appreciate that shit in the slightest, but I’m willing to forgive if the J-Man is.
Hell, all they’re going to do is play video games and surf YouTube anyway.
I had to ask my mother to ask my stepdad whether J. could have a friend over. This is how ludicrous our family dynamic is, people. Anyway, she did, and he snapped, “Wonderful.”
This pisses me off beyond the limits of reason. The J-Man is not allowed to have kids in the house, ever. His friends don’t come in. There is no playing at our house, not even in the backyard, because my stepdad (who had FIVE BOYS, mind you) cannot tolerate children. J. is only allowed to have sleepovers once in a blue moon, and only if my mom or I beg.
I understand that the man is old and crotchety and pretty much over having kids around, but for fuck’s sake, we live here. He wanted us here. We have lived here for over a year now, and I am sick to death of walking on eggshells.
God forbid he heard B. and I having sex last night. I will be either put on punishment or stretched on a rack.
He treats me like a child as well, and God, do I feel like a child even saying that. It’s completely true, though.
Anyway, maybe I’m not eighteen. Maybe I’m twelve.
Happy Happy Friday.
B sounds wonderful. Being not freaked out by intensity is like…well pretty intense and awesome. Good sign!!
Sounds like you and B. are onto something good. I’m thrilled for you! For both of you.
I hope the JMan’s sleepover goes well and that Stepdad doesn’t blow a gasket. Walking on eggshells is no way to live. ARGH.
I don’t even know where the boy is that I lost my virginity to. I’ve googled him, but he’s got a fairly common name so no luck. Anyway, he’s probably happily married, while I am now happily divorced. Glad you’re having such a good and intense time with B. That’s awesome!
Sounds like B is a great guy! And sorry that stepdad is so anti-kids…hopefully the sleepover goes without a hitch though!
I live with my parents, too. Dad holds a continual grudge against my 17-year-old because the boy once lied to him. He was 12. It was petty. And the kid owned up to it and fixed what he did wrong. But apparently, it was an unforgivable offense because it’s STILL being brought up and held over his head. He can’t have his friends over either. Just talking to his girlfriend on his cell phone will incite a wave of rage from the old man that can last for days. Even the hubby and I are extremely hesitant to have anyone come over. As thankful as I am that they’ve helped us out, it is clear that we are past the time to move into our own place. ::sigh:: I feel your pain.
But yay on the Boy front! Happy fist pump!
I just KNEW that something fun was going on with you last night because you showed up in one of my dreams. Oh but you really and truly did. I even remarked to myself while dreaming “what is Jen doing here in this dream?” (You looked fab-u by the way)LOL – You had called me on the phone to say that you were feeling great and full of energy and you wondered if I wanted a freshly baked cookie. A COOKIE. Seriously dear. I woke up immediately after that thinking yes, I would like a freshly baked cookie since you asked me so nicely during my REM sleep. As for you feeling great, well Hell yeah my dear you were indeed feeling great! How many times did you feel great or is that too personal of a question? Obviously your romp in the hay sent your overflowing good feelings my way and I was just receptive enough to pickup on it. It’s not the first time this has happened to me. Pretty cool actually.
I also love the sentence ‘I still smell like Boy’. HA ! It’s so true, isn’t it? See? You opened the door to personal questions with that one little statement. I LOVE your honesty and we are all friends here aren’t we? Girl talk and such…right?
I’m so sorry that you have to go through bullshit with the MAN of the house. Jesus men are so damned insensative at times. Especially as they age. My father is a lot like your stepdad, always pissed off at nothing and making those around him feel like they have to tread VERY lightly lest they anger the beast make things worse. I am pretty sure though that my Dad is slipping into Alzheimers like his still-living younger Brother and it is scaring him so he lashes out at my Mother and I. His Mother and other youngest brother both died from Mad cow disease (seriously true) so brain deterioration is almost a given in his family. (Yay for my future…?) I do hope that the J-man has a great sleep-over despite the grumpy troll controlling the house. Jaden has made so much progress these last 6 months and he deserves to be able to enjoy it without feeling like he has to be invisible in his own home spending quality bonding time with a friend and just being young teenagers playing video games and surfing Youtube for boobies or jackass videos.
Doesn’t matter right now though because you got you some last night my little chick-a-dee and you still owe me a freshly baked cookie ! Get crackin’ on that snickerdoodle recipe before ‘B’ saps all of your happy energy LOL…Ah what the Hell – let him sap, let him SAP baybee.
For someone that I don’t know that well you have me as a friend forever Jen, you really do. Enjoy more Boy smell my dear. I am so happy for you !
– John in Tucson
Thanks to you guys. It’s always good to know that my sex life is a source of high fives.
John, you never fail to put a smile on my face. Seriously. I appreciate your comments and phone calls so much and am thrilled to have graced one of your dreams. And who knows, I may just send you that snickerdoodle, assuming I can figure out how to make one.
YES! SO happy for you Jen! I just love this love story!!!
My dad is also getting grouchy and generally sort of over the kids. It used to piss me off, but I guess in the end it is his loss. It would be harder if we lived together for sure.
I hope Jaden works things out with his friends. Such a hard age…
Is this The One? I love it so much!!! It’s like a movie.
I wonder…if things keep going the way they are going…if you guys could get some sort of disabled housing together?
I still keep up with T, the love of my life, at least I thought so at age 20 (g) The sparks still fly when we get together once a year at a Christmas party. We pick up right where we left off, just like 30 years have not passed, talking a mile a minute. I could never have lived with him though-he’s impossible. His girlfriend is a wonderful person and she is welcome to him, and my husband is still the true love of my life after 19 years of marriage.
PS I have an 8th grade daughter now. It’s so much fun I can’t stand it. I have to laugh, though, because I was unbearable at that age myself. Karma.