March 31st, 2011 | Author: trancejen
So. This morning I have had the Black Eyed Peas’ “Imma Be” firmly implanted in my head for two and a half hours. I haven’t even heard the damned song in months. How can this be? Ask my wonked brain.
Lately the J-Man is relentlessly difficult to wake up, and when I finally do shake him from sleep, he snarks, “I’M UP!!! I’M UP!!!”
I find this irritating beyond measure. Tomorrow I am going to just smack him with a belt and be done with it.
That’ll learn him.
In other news, my cats have been eating the furniture.
I have no idea why the fuck this is. Remember the cute dining room chairs that my mom and I recently re-vamped? The finials on the tops of them have been gnawed beyond recognition, and the little fuckers have actually chewed off all of the paint. They have also chewed the rungs of the rocking chair, removing the varnish.
They have never done this before, and I have no idea why they have started it now. I thought that declawed cats (yes, I declawed, I’m going to hell) were pretty non-destructive, but boy, was I off.
Any suggestions on how to stop this would be most welcome. They do it when I’m not watching (smart little shits), so I’m thinking of painting something on the surfaces such as cayenne pepper or some sort of bitter oil, but I don’t want to damage their delicate little mouths in the process.
Fuckers.
In other news, I promised a photo of my new hair some time ago. The hair is no longer new, and this shitty photo is blurry and was taken with my cell phone, but here you go:
Ratty sweatshirt FTW!
Feel free to admire or mock as you see fit. Creative mockery is always welcome.
Yesterday I misstepped and fell right off of the fucking treadmill. I of course did not have the safety string attached to my person, so the treadmill was still running as I fell, but thankfully this did nothing but give me a slight arm burn.
One should probably be at least slightly coordinated in order to use exercise equipment. This is just some healthy advice from me to you.
In still other news, I’ve been working on a novel for two whole weeks and already have a scorching case of writer’s block. This is because I am used to writing nothing but short meaningless paragraphs about my short and meaningless life, and the thought of writing anything with the slightest bit of substance paralyzes me to my very core.
It’s daunting, but I am forcing myself to put down something, anything, every day and edit later.
And NO, the book is not about weight loss, EDs, being sick, or anything even remotely depressing. It should be sort of funny when all is said and done, assuming I don’t become a raging alcoholic in an effort to get the words flowing.
Here’s hoping.
Happy Thursday.
i’m liking the hair, and the idea of a novel even more.
no pressure.
For the cats – Feliway http://www.feliway.com/us. It’s like kitty pheromone that you put in a little plug in diffuser. Seems to help them calm the fuck down! My sister uses it with her 4 cats and they are so much less nuts.
My friend sprayed this bitter apple stuff from the pet store all over plants and her kitty stopped chomping them. Cats hate citrus scents too.
I say go for the nail biting polish on your problem areas. My our older cat had some issues when she was young and the bitter apple or the other cat deterrents didn’t work.
BTW – love the hair! So awesome!
LOVE the hair! And I second the citrus or sour apple smells…My wretched cat used to chew at the box spring, but the a citrus spray made her lose interest.
My baby takes the morning train -
He works from nine till five and then -
He takes another home again -
To find me waitin’ for him.
Black Eyed Peas gone! It’s MAGIC!
Hair looks great, as always!
Put me down for one of those novels. I love your writing, and you’ve had me rolling on the floor laughing for years (when it was appropriate, of course!). I think it’s a fantastic idea. Have you ever heard of an author, Echo Heron? She’s a nurse, and has written a couple of books about her nursing experiences. She’s awesome to read (IMO), and her writing style and humour remind me a lot of you.
My sister was a complete b*tch to wake up. If Mom made me or my brother do it on a weekend – since she would sleep till noon – we’d poke her with a broom handle to avoid the swinging fists that shot out from under the covers.
She is now getting payback as my nephew is not a good waker-upper. He wakes up crabby.