So Chicago and Northwest Indianny are expecting a good two feet of snow today and tonight, perhaps surpassing the blizzard of ‘67.

I am less than enthused, primarily because I am the primary snow-shoveler of the household now that my stepdad has had shoulder surgery.

My mother is currently out shopping for toilet paper and bottled water and coffee cake (God forbid we should be without coffee cake) and cigarettes and other such essentials before she goes to work, and the J-Man has grumpily gone off to school, moaning the whole time about how it is NOT FAIR, because he should have had a snow day.

Personally I think they’re going to shuck the kids home by noon, but we’ll see.

Today’s Indiana newspaper bore the headline “SNOWMAGEDDON!”, which I found hilarious. I have also seen the word “snowpocalypse” being tossed around on Facebook.

People, it’s just snow. Granted, we’re going to have a shit-ton of it and it’s going to suck mightily, but it’s just snow.

Then again, I’m not the one driving in it.

Back in about 1999 or so we had a pretty bad snowstorm and it took me about three hours to get from Calumet City to the sout’ side, which was generally only about a 20-minute trip. I had no cell phone at the time, and I remember being stuck in white-out conditions thinking, I AM GOING TO DIE HERE.

Truly, driving in deep snow is no fun, unless you’re doing donuts, and I’m not talking about those accidental ones in the middle of the expressway.

My mother is one of those drivers who flips out if driving in even the smallest amount of snow because, as you know, it never snows here. She immediately drops her speed to 13 miles per hour, flips her windshield wipers on warp speed, and begins to shake like a cracked-out Chihuahua.

I can’t even imagine how she’s going to do today if the weather starts to get really hairy before she leaves work. I’m hoping the boss man lets them all leave pretty early.

The J-Man is thrilled at the prospect of being snowed in, because it will give him an excuse to lounge around the house playing video games and working out to his heart’s content.

Yes, I said working out. I do believe the family fitness craze has begun to rub off on the kid, and he now does 20 minutes on the treadmill at least every other day and uses the Bender Ball (yeah, I bought it, shut up) and free weights on a daily basis.

The treadmill has become something of a competition between my stepdad and I. If he gets up to 3.7 miles per hour, I have to do it, too. I last for thirty minutes when he tends to only do twenty-five, causing me to burn more calories, so he increases his speed to match my calorie level. He’s currently up to four miles an hour, and if I have to kill myself, I’m going to match that today AND go for forty-five minutes.

We’re probably going to be the death of each other, but damn, am I getting into better shape.

In other news, my prescription medication insurance is completely and totally fucked. So far this year I’ve paid over seven hundred bucks for medications due to an error in the state’s system, and I cannot for the life of me get a hold of any live person to resolve this matter. I call at least ten times a day, leave voice mails and faxes, and no one is calling me back.

Today I am e-mailing my congressman, who allegedly responds speedily to constituent issues, and am going to bitch and beg up a storm.

Last year my prescriptions didn’t cost a dime due to extra help with Medicare and Medicaid. I truly can’t afford to pay this much out of pocket and have been spending my son’s Social Security checks in order to do so. That money is supposed to go into savings for him. It’s utter crap.

Not only should this issue be resolved, but I should be reimbursed for what I have spent this year, because it was their error. Somehow I don’t see that happening without a hell of a fight.

Insurance problems make me want to chew off my own arm, I swear to God, but then I would just have more insurance claims.

In still other news, I am still seeing ThatGuy, and it seems to be going swimmingly so far. I’m not hedging my bets yet, I’m taking things extremely slow, and I must admit I’ve been more than a little guarded (and it has been duly noted), but so far, so good.

Who knows.

Happy Tuesday. May your snow be light, fluffy, and easy to shovel.

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