Archive for February, 2011

I finally broke an hour on the treadmill today. And no, this is not going to become one of those exhausting exercise blogs, but damn, I was proud. I’ve been pounding away at that damned thing since Christmas, and finally I’ve reached a major goal. I’ve lost thirty-five pounds since this time last year (actually in the past four months or so), and I’m feeling pretty damned good.

Today I broke up with the guy I’ve been seeing, and no, the teeth were not a factor. He’s been having a lot of problems, I’ve been having a few problems myself, and I finally just decided that it wasn’t the right time. He was cool about it, though. It was probably the easiest break up of all time. No muss, no fuss.

So, there was that.

In other news, the cat has taken to chewing on the rungs of the rocker downstairs, leaving them tooth-marked and slobbery.

I have the strangest animals ever.

In still other news, I leave for Green Bay in three days and have not even begun to pack. This is a labor-intensive project that will involve many decisions and much consternation. I can cram a sick amount of clothing and shoes into four days. I mean a really, really chronically ill amount.

I think every day should have at least two wardrobe changes.

The J-Man has been studying super-hard and just brought home a sheaf of A papers, which warmed the cockles of my hard little heart. His grades have sucked rocks lately, but they’re definitely on the upswing, which means I probably will have to call Kathie Lee and tell her I’m not sending him to Indonesia to make clothes after all.

He might do well at it, though. In Sewing he’s making a pillow shaped like an iPod, and the damned thing is actually pretty cute.

Happy Monday.

I’m sorry for my prolonged absence. I got really sick after the blizzard, blah blah pass the tissues.

So. While I have been here in my little cave nothing much has been happening except for the fact that I am now being raped by my insurance company to the tune of five hundred dollars per month. This places a heavy dent in our finances, so much so that I almost canceled my yearly trip to Green Bay for Weetacon. Thankfully I have been saving up money, so I’m able to do it, but damn you, Medicaid and your hefty spend down, and damn you Medicare and your sincere lack of payments. While I’m at it, damn you government for cutting funding to both these programs.

Oh, to be a rich white man.

What else is going on… Let’s see. The J-Man is still giving both me and himself a big, fat ulcer by getting shitty grades, but we have gotten him a tutor. Thankfully, though, the nervous stomach puking has slowed down quite a bit due to the fact that he is now taking medication to counteract it.

I would not be twelve again for all the money in the world.

The guy I’ve been dating? The one with no front teeth due to the car accident? Apparently his insurance company isn’t going to pay to get them fixed. Therefore now I am dating a guy who will have no front teeth for the foreseeable future, for the long haul, for quite some time; since he can’t afford to get them fixed on his own (every man I date is as broke as a joke) and he has no dental insurance.

Perhaps I am a shallow, vapid, bitch, but this distresses me.

Lest you think I am full of nothing but bad news, I am going to Green Bay next Thursday! There will be revelry and old friends and new friends and dancing and sleigh rides and bratwurst and drinking and talking and karaoke and much merriment! I am so excited that I could piddle on the floor, and I just might.

Also, I got a new haircut and bright red color, and it is truly slamming. I would take a picture, but right now I have a zit mask on my face and I recently got off the treadmill so my hair is a sweaty mess. Photos to come soon.

The question of the day is: How the hell are you??

Happy Monday.

Eff this effing snow. Eff it in the mothereffing ear.

So Chicago and Northwest Indianny are expecting a good two feet of snow today and tonight, perhaps surpassing the blizzard of ‘67.

I am less than enthused, primarily because I am the primary snow-shoveler of the household now that my stepdad has had shoulder surgery.

My mother is currently out shopping for toilet paper and bottled water and coffee cake (God forbid we should be without coffee cake) and cigarettes and other such essentials before she goes to work, and the J-Man has grumpily gone off to school, moaning the whole time about how it is NOT FAIR, because he should have had a snow day.

Personally I think they’re going to shuck the kids home by noon, but we’ll see.

Today’s Indiana newspaper bore the headline “SNOWMAGEDDON!”, which I found hilarious. I have also seen the word “snowpocalypse” being tossed around on Facebook.

People, it’s just snow. Granted, we’re going to have a shit-ton of it and it’s going to suck mightily, but it’s just snow.

Then again, I’m not the one driving in it.

Back in about 1999 or so we had a pretty bad snowstorm and it took me about three hours to get from Calumet City to the sout’ side, which was generally only about a 20-minute trip. I had no cell phone at the time, and I remember being stuck in white-out conditions thinking, I AM GOING TO DIE HERE.

Truly, driving in deep snow is no fun, unless you’re doing donuts, and I’m not talking about those accidental ones in the middle of the expressway.

My mother is one of those drivers who flips out if driving in even the smallest amount of snow because, as you know, it never snows here. She immediately drops her speed to 13 miles per hour, flips her windshield wipers on warp speed, and begins to shake like a cracked-out Chihuahua.

I can’t even imagine how she’s going to do today if the weather starts to get really hairy before she leaves work. I’m hoping the boss man lets them all leave pretty early.

The J-Man is thrilled at the prospect of being snowed in, because it will give him an excuse to lounge around the house playing video games and working out to his heart’s content.

Yes, I said working out. I do believe the family fitness craze has begun to rub off on the kid, and he now does 20 minutes on the treadmill at least every other day and uses the Bender Ball (yeah, I bought it, shut up) and free weights on a daily basis.

The treadmill has become something of a competition between my stepdad and I. If he gets up to 3.7 miles per hour, I have to do it, too. I last for thirty minutes when he tends to only do twenty-five, causing me to burn more calories, so he increases his speed to match my calorie level. He’s currently up to four miles an hour, and if I have to kill myself, I’m going to match that today AND go for forty-five minutes.

We’re probably going to be the death of each other, but damn, am I getting into better shape.

In other news, my prescription medication insurance is completely and totally fucked. So far this year I’ve paid over seven hundred bucks for medications due to an error in the state’s system, and I cannot for the life of me get a hold of any live person to resolve this matter. I call at least ten times a day, leave voice mails and faxes, and no one is calling me back.

Today I am e-mailing my congressman, who allegedly responds speedily to constituent issues, and am going to bitch and beg up a storm.

Last year my prescriptions didn’t cost a dime due to extra help with Medicare and Medicaid. I truly can’t afford to pay this much out of pocket and have been spending my son’s Social Security checks in order to do so. That money is supposed to go into savings for him. It’s utter crap.

Not only should this issue be resolved, but I should be reimbursed for what I have spent this year, because it was their error. Somehow I don’t see that happening without a hell of a fight.

Insurance problems make me want to chew off my own arm, I swear to God, but then I would just have more insurance claims.

In still other news, I am still seeing ThatGuy, and it seems to be going swimmingly so far. I’m not hedging my bets yet, I’m taking things extremely slow, and I must admit I’ve been more than a little guarded (and it has been duly noted), but so far, so good.

Who knows.

Happy Tuesday. May your snow be light, fluffy, and easy to shovel.