December 29th, 2010 | Author: trancejen
So Christmas was all fine and wonderful and stuff. I actually went to church at my mother’s behest on Christmas Eve, and the ceiling actually did not burst into huge tongues of demonic flame.
I was a little surprised by my church experience, though. We went to the Lutheran church that was connected to the J-Man’s old school, of which my mother had grown very fond.
Lutherans? You don’t know how to act.
Maybe it was just the two-time-a-year churchgoers that were the culprits, but damn, there were some talky people in church, so much so that even a lifelong heathen like myself found it disrespectful. People (particularly the done-up blondes that populate this particular church) were allowing their children to screw around and scream and cry and run up and down the aisles – and I’m not talking about tiny babies either (well, obviously tiny babies wouldn’t be doing much running), I’m talking about grown-ass kids. It annoyed me.
This was primarily a choral service, with just a couple of short readings and a short sermon, and I think I would really have enjoyed the music had it not been for the idiotic chattering Trixies and their offspring, who desperately needed a blowdart or two full of Ritalin.
Where I come from, if you go to temple or church, you sit your ass down, and you shut the hell up, and woe to you if you fail to do either.
I know, I know, it was CHRISTMAS, and I shouldn’t be such a GRINCH. Sigh. The holidays blanket a multitude of sins, don’t they??
It just surprised me.
On Christmas morning my father came over to open gifts while my stepdad went to mass.
Read that again.
We put the funk in dysfunctional, do we not??
The J-Man was absolutely thrilled with his gifts and called it the best Christmas ever, as he does every year. My mother and father seemed very happy with their stuff as well, and I was over the moon with my treadmill and some very nice stuff from my mother.
After my dad took off, we cooked all late morning in preparation for my stepsister and a couple of my stepbrothers and their kids.
Can I just tell you how much I love pierogis? Not as much as I love turkey, to be sure, but ALMOST AS MUCH. They are little pockets of potato love.
We had a great meal, opened gifts again, and basically sat around for the rest of the night complaining about how fat we all were now given the gluttonous week.
Yesterday was my birthday, which I consider a holiday and you should, too. Sadly, I did nothing, because my stepdad had shoulder surgery and is taking it… poorly.
My mom took the day off of work, which was a blessed thing, because believe me, it took both of us to handle him. I think that he is both the only person ever to feel pain, to have been cut open, and to have been dizzy or numb. At least this is what I have been led to believe. Now this is a man who survived Vietnam. He is no wuss! That must have been some fucking intense surgery, because he is ready to eat a gun.
Needless to say, I am having a blast nursing him back to health today while my mom is back at work. We had the following exchange this morning.
“JENNY!!!”
*runs down the hall, panicked* “WHAT???!”
“Where’s the damp washcloth you gave me?”
“It’s on your forehead.”
“Oh. Never mind then.”
Having a high tolerance for drugs, I view Vicodin like it’s Tylenol. No big.
Apparently I am So Wrong. This man is so stoned it’s not even funny. He even looks high. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone so high, unless they were on hospital drugs like Demerol. Or maybe crack, but he lacks the enthusiasm of your average crackhead. He just lies there and groans.
So that’s my week. Everyone keeps asking what I’m doing for New Year’s Eve, and the answer is Zip. New Year’s is a couples holiday. Even the local bars are selling tickets to couples, and damned if I’m going to hang out in some bar by myself when it’s an all-couples trip. I plan to buy a bottle of champagne and stay home with the J-Man watching Dick Clark, I mean, Ryan Seacrest. Boring, but there you have it.
How were your holidays? Dirty details in the comments, if you please.
My holidays were lovely, tyvm! I didn’t have to go to any church services, only to the in-laws for gifts and a light dinner. NYE is off to old friends to play cards and drink. I hate NYE so anything with no expectations is a dream to me.
I got just what I asked for and a few nice things that I didn’t expect. Oh and the new washer and dryer that were required since our old ones died Sunday.
Lutherans? Must have been suburbanites, even the “modern” services I’ve attended are pretty silent. And its in Michigan, so not much different than where you are.
As for the shoulder surgery? My mom had her entire shoulder joint replaced this summer. She says it is the WORST pain ever, worse than the knee replacement, and even worse than the hernia repair that was to be short. The hernia that ended up being a couple of hours more than they intended and required lots of drugs to get the pain under control. She was miserable after this one, and even though she would have more use of her other arm if she had it done again, its completely unthinkable to her.
So…while I completely agree that his ‘typical’ male reaction is ridiculous…there could be *some* truth there, heh.
Re: How people are behaving in church. It is not just church. And it is only going to get worse. People are out of control. It is happening in every venue and I for one am sick of it. I raised my son to behave just the opposite of the way kids (and maybe even many of their parents were) are being raised. Is it yours? No? Then effin HANDS off dude. Thank you. May I? Yes ma’am. Yes sir. He is now 23 and this is how he behaves, and if he didn’t, I would kick his ass to China and back.
I don’t even want to go out into the world anymore. I am sick of the behavior I have to continually dance around.
Had a Swedish Christmas at my MIL’s. Lutefisk, meatballs, smoked salmon, glug and many rounds of Helan Gore. Also, she has a hot tub and I didn’t have to help cook, just clean up. It was pretty much the best Christmas I can remember in awhile. I went to church too and I had to laugh at the fact the ceiling “did not burst into huge tongues of demonic flame”. When I was in hs I used to dip my hand in the holy water, touch my forehead with it and exclaim, “it burns it burns”! My mom would act like she didn’t know me.
Yeah, I went to the movies with my family this week.
Now, I go to the movies every week, and I NEVER SEE THIS, so I don’t know what’s up. But people were rude like it was going out of style. When the lights went down and it was pitch black, a couple came into the packed theater as the opening monologue started. They then walked up the aisle in front of me and proceeded to shine a FLASHLIGHT up and down the aisles looking for seats. A FLASHLIGHT. In a pitch black theater. Eyeballs were seared, everyone stared, no one in five rows heard the opening dialogue.
Finally the husband realized and tried to cover the flashlight (so it was dimmer) and the wife yelled, “I CAN’T SEE! GIVE ME THAT!” and started blinding us again.
There was also much CRUNCH CRUNCH RUSTLE of popcorn/wrappers and the ubiquitous texters (blue flashing lights in the corner of your eyes- awesome) and the lady behind us that yelled, “Oh snap! Oh snap! OH SNAP! Oh SNAP!” during a scary part.
Facepalm. People are rude.
Anne, he had his rotator cuff repaired, so you’re right, there probably is something to it, but LORD, the GROANING. Maybe I’m just an asshole. (probably)
He is supposed to have a complete replacement of his other shoulder, and now he is refusing to let them even go near it because this surgery was so bad. And congrats on the new washer and dryer! Score!!!
Trish, good for you for raising your kid right. I have to tell you that I generally cannot stand young adults and teenagers due to their astonishing lack of manners and good common decency, so it’s nice to know that there’s at least one out there that has some good solid upbringing.
Sooboo, my grandma was Swedish, so your menu brings back memories!! (although I never could choke down lutefisk or salmon, just not a fish eater) I could eat my weight in Swedish meatballs. I LOLed at your holy water story. Heh.
Robin, it sounds like you went to a Sout’ Side theater. Folks are as loud as hell, and the Oh SNAP!s are a given!! it’s annoying but sort of funny at the same time, and God forbid you see a horror flick. The flashlight shit is just ridiculous, I’ll bet people wanted to conk them over the head with it…
I had the flu. Shit myself on Christmas eve day then had to face dinner with an immodium chaser. Slept most of Christmas Day and my husband who does not cook, cooked dinner. My daughter said he pretty much floudered through it. Not my best Christmas ever but that’s the way it goes sometimes. Oh, and the kicker? With all the Big D I had goin on, I didn’t lose one solitary lb.
Sorry you asked??? It’s kinda funny looking back.
Damn, girl, that sucks. I remember a few Christmases ago, when someone at our family Christmas party (a week ahead of time) gave all of us some horrible kind of flu and we were all sick at Christmas. That’s the worst ever. But at least Immodium helps!! Hope you’re feeling better and that you have a great New Year’s to make up for it!!