December 9th, 2010 | Author: trancejen
My kid is twelve now (wrap your brain around THAT, longtime readers), and although I’ve noticed that with every passing year the Stuff He Wants list has grown more and more expensive, this year it has become downright ridiculous.
An iPod Touch (don’t we all, kid): $250.00
several fifty-dollar video games: $250.00
DC shoes: $60-80.00
DC clothes: $300.00, and that’s a cheap estimate
An electric toothbrush (only gift I’m inclined to buy): around $50 bucks for a cheap one
A new hard drive for his XBox: I have no idea, but it sounds expensive
He also started to ask me for a 4G cell phone, but I just laughed
Remember Lincoln Logs? I’ll bet you could buy a whole big set for under twenty dollars.
Seriously, this child is living in an alternate reality, one in which his mother is not living on a very meager fixed income. I’m sure that there are kids at school who get these types of gifts, but I’m also sure that their parents are professionals who spoil the shit out of them.
I can remember when he was happy as a clam playing in a cardboard box. Maybe if I got him a big enough box, those sweet, sunshiny days would return.
“You know that if you get anything off this list, it will just be one or two small things, right?”
“OK.”
“Because we’re not rich, and because you don’t really need all that stuff.”
“And because I should ask Grandpa.”
“Heh.”
My father is what you would call well-off, but he is also what you would call a man who is desperate to spend every last penny on tools, workout equipment, and gadgetry during his lifetime so that his family doesn’t see a red cent.
I kid. He’s actually quite generous with both the J-Man and I most of the time, but that doesn’t mean that I want J. to take advantage of him by asking for ridiculous things like trendy clothes and eighty dollar shoes.
Tinkertoys. Remember Tinkertoys? They were just sticks and wooden spools with holes. Simple. Cheap. Nice.
I would so love to see my kid sit down with a damn Tinkertoy that it would make me weep tears of joy. I think I would actually go to church/temple/a mosque/tai fucking chi in the park if I saw him pick up something that wasn’t attached to a monitor.
I went Christmas shopping with my stepdad yesterday. This is sort of like Christmas shopping with a statue. You have to stop and pick it up and move it every few feet, because it stands stark still and stares at every motherfucking thing in the store.
Naturally, I was overjoyed.
We somehow got a lot done, and I knocked out my mother (thick sweaters – no blood), my father (cool shirts – second childhood), my friends (sweaters), and mostly the J-Man (damnable game and toothbrush). My mom already took care of the nieces and nephews and my sister, and all I have left to buy for is my stepdad the statue, the Man Who Wants Nothing Yet Is Fascinated By Everything.
Tune in next time, when I write about my father’s new, rare, serious girlfriend.
Happy Thursday.
All I want for Xmas are some bags of M&Ms. Think I’ll go stand in line at the mall to chat with Santa.
OOOhhh… I can’t wait to hear about your father’s new, rare, serious girlfriend! Do tell.
DAVE!!! I keep forgetting because I am a bad, bad friend. I will sned by end of next week or you can shoot me dead.
Amy, it is a story worth telling.
Real Lincoln Logs are actually kind of pricey. I kind of wanted to get them for a couple of nephews this year, but the sets I saw were anywhere from $30 to $50. Just for basic Lincoln Logs! But I agree, I wish kids weren’t quite so techno driven today, because it makes gift giving an expensive deal.
I bought my nephew a giant set of lincoln logs (real wooden ones not plastic junk!) last Christmas. I think I played with them more then he did. My favorite childhood toy!
Wow, that is a difficult list. A good gift list (like a wedding registry) accommodates all income levels. It’s hard to understand that as a kid though. I wanted to buy a friend’s kid a Simon game (remember Simon?) and it now costs eighty bucks! I had to settle for Hungry Hungry Hippo, which is now made with plastic balls, no marbles.
So a couple of questions…where do you shop for the Jman? Cause an electric toothbrush that runs on batteries you can get at Target for cheap. Unless he wants a really nice one.
I have to say I took away my son’s electric toothbrush cause he was getting really lazy and figured you could just put the toothbrush in your mouth and it would do all the work. Ummm no, you have to still move it around….and still floss.
Second, do you ever shop at Gamestop? I don’t know about your Jman, but mine doesn’t care that games have been used or hard drives aren’t brand new. He still gets to you play on them. I still pull the tags off and wrap it nicely cause I have guilt that he would care, but he don’t.
And instead of $60 for a game, it can be $10 to $40. You might be able to get him more and not kill your budget! Also you can trade in old games and get cash or store credit. Might be something to look in to if you haven’t already.
I was going to mention Tinker Toys, but you beat me to it. Loved my Tinker Toys! (and Light Bright! and Playdough!)
I use a battery operated toothbrush and I think it’s just as good as the expensive kind. The dental hygenist noticed a difference after I started using it, so I highly recommend them.(the kind that you can change the batteries in–not the new ones that are “disposable”. They duped me on that one) Also those floss/pick things–like Plackers. It’s easier than flossing and they do a great job.
Happy shopping, bless us every one
Nope. I’m refusing to believe that the J-Man is 12. When I started reading, I believe he was…2? And pottytraining? WTH? Mind you, I’ve also had three kids of my own since I began reading your blog. Damn time.
Someone beat me to it, and it sounds like you already got the toothbrush anyway, but I’m obsessed with telling anyone that will listen that a battery powered sonicare is $30. Works great with rechargable batteries. End unpaid, totally unnecessary info.
Was going to suggest the GameStop option too. Another way to get Ipods on the cheap (well lesser) is to go to apple.com and search refurbished. I got my son a former generation Ipod touch for $149. It’s an 8 gb without the new fancy camera but saved me about $100. Just a thought! If you don’t see what you want at first keep checking back. They update frequently and it changes fast.
Thanks for your suggestions, guys!! There is a nearby Gamestop that I will have to check out. He’s shit out of luck on the iPod touch, though, that’s still beyond my budget!
And mmm…Lite Brites.
At work we have a gift drive for local needy kids and their lists are very similar. I know I sound really Grinch-y, but I look at these lists and I shake my head. You want a snowboard? A PS3? Kid, I’m waiting patiently to be able to get my own PS3 and I work in a cube all day.
Totally agree on the used video games option. Games that just came out will still be kind of nuts, but games that came out a little while ago (or are less blockbuster titles) will be reasonable.
Ebay is also doing this Daily Deals thing (they’re emailing me constantly about it) where they have steeply discounted stuff for a limited time (ebay.com/deals). They had some refurbished iPods a while ago that were pretty hugely discounted. Just a thought! I’ve been scamming reduced items from there (camera cases, gifts for family) all month!
I saw a few different styles of DC shoes for men at a local Marshalls (with a shoe superstore designation – whatever that means) and they were priced at $29.99.