October 25th, 2010 | Author: trancejen
I have had approximately six hours of sleep in the last three days, so forgive me if I’m a little less than completely coherent. I don’t know why the sandman is neglecting me, but I’d very much like to wring his skinny little neck.
So, Halloween. I have nothing planned the day of except sending my child off to beg from strangers and handing out candy to the strange children who beg from me, but Friday I’m attending a party; which begs the question, what shall I be?
Typically I dress as a punk rocker, also known as Jen of Fifteen Years Ago, but that’s kind of tired. There are only so many years one can get away with knee-high Docs, ripped fishnets, and a surly demeanor.
I was talking to my buddy Dave about my dilemma this morning, and we both agreed: All commercial women’s costumes are either completely slutty or completely dorky. You’re either a giant M&M or you’re a trashy nurse in a white vinyl miniskirt with thigh-highs and stripper heels. Actually, almost ALL commercial female costumes show thigh-highs and stripper heels on the packaging.
I’ll take neither option, thanks. I’d rather my ass not look any wider (M&M), and I firmly believe that thigh-high stockings are best left in the bedroom.
What’s left? I could make my own costume. I could be something scary, like Jen in the Morning With No Makeup and Unstraightened Hair. Or Post-Seizure Jen, With Slobbery Lips and Rolled-Back Eyeballs.
I could put my cats on leashes and be Crazy Cat Lady Jen. I could wear a ballgown and a tiara, not speak to anyone, and be Snobby Bitch Jen. I could stay on my cellphone all night, pull handfuls of hair out, curse a lot, and be Dealing With the Medicare Office Jen.
l would just cut a couple of holes in a sheet and be a ghost, but the party is in my old ‘hood and I don’t want to be mistaken for a Klan member.
It’s so hard to choose, but I’m going to have to come up with something.
TranceMom’s birthday is this weekend, too. I’m making lasagna and we’re having some of her friends over, and I bought her a coat and am having a really cool floral arrangement delivered. Should be good times.
In other news, I am still trying to decorate the basement to my liking. I purchased some nice poster-sized photographic prints to hang on the walls, artsy-fartsy stuff that will make my mother come downstairs and frown. “Why did you buy THAT? That’s WEIRD.”
This is what she says about the Rothko in my bathroom. “YOU could have painted that.”
Well, maybe. Only if I was very depressed.
Bad joke.
Anyway.
I checked the J-Man’s grades on the school’s kid-stalker program early this morning, and lo and behold, there were As. A big fat A on his two-chapter Social Studies test, and some other As as well.
I am ridiculously happy with the J-Man.
In still other news, I’m losing steam. Time to suck down another pot of coffee.
Jen out.
Happy Monday.
Yay for the J-Man! Good news that.
I abhor the women’s Halloween costumes the Patriarchy attempts to stuff us into. Not only is it degrading, disrespectful and hateful, it’s also just plain ridiculous. ARGH.
Love the chairs though. They turned out great. I’m even sort of liking the black/brown mix of the chairs and table. The table would look great black though too. Especially if that paneling disappeared.
Can’t wait to see your other decorating projects.
My husband & I dressed up as zombies last year & it was lots of fun. I don’t like those traditional girly costumes either. I’d rather be something gross!
in college i bought a beautiful beaded dress at a thrift store (too big then so cinched the back – but fits now) covered my face and arms in white (i cuban – you dont have to do that), did my hair and makeup impeccably and then started to apply the latex and fake blood. Always looks great. I chop my head off, have blood dripping out of the corner of my mouth, and a gash or two on my face and arm. I think i look great but very disturbing.
First off, yay for J-Man! I would kill to see As anywhere in this house, and sadly, there are none.
Second, I love the chairs. Love them.
Third, be a gypsy. Get a big, layered skirt, a plain blouse, tie a scarf over your head and wear a lot of makeup and big hoops. Easy and cheap.
*raises hand guiltily as the feminist who loves slutty Halloween costumes*
I spend all year checking myself in the mirror before I go out and saying, “Is this too much/too slutty?” I love that Halloween is the one day I can be a little too much and feel awesome about it.
That being said, I’m not down for the shaming some people get for *not* being slutty. To each her own!
I saw a thing on tv that said that dark chocolate is a natural relaxer for some reason, and calms ands mellows a person way down. So it could be a good thing to eat just before bed, to help you drift off to sleep. Only dark chocolate mind you, probably because of the large percentage of cocoa.