August 27th, 2010 | Author: trancejen
So, yeah. I got dumped. Via text message.
Yes, via text message.
Stay classy, Indiana.
It went down like this. Mr. Tall was being rather uncommunicative last week, and by the end of the week, I said, “Are you passively dumping me?”
“No,” he said. “It’s not you at all, just going through some heavy stuff. I just need a few days.”
I’m an understanding kind of gal, so I said, “No problem. Take all the time you need.”
Of course, I *was* flipping out a bit. The title of this blog is Not Just Your Garden-Variety NEUROTIC Smartass for a reason. I was worried something serious had happened, I was worried he was indeed lying to me, I was worried he was fucking someone else, I was worried about the Dow Jones, you name it.
Finally this week I texted him. “Look, I don’t mind waiting, but I need to know whether I am waiting in vain (strains of Bob Marley). If you’re not interested, I need to know.”
He texted back, “Sorry, not interested.”
Ouch.
After I smoked a cigarette and regained my composure, I texted him back. “Just out of pure curiosity, can I ask why?”
“Too much baggage.”
I don’t deny that fact. At all. Still, he was an asshole to be so glib, I thought.
Later on, he texted, “You still live at home, and you don’t drive. I just couldn’t handle it. I’m sorry for any pain I caused you.”
Fair enough. But what irked me was that he KNEW ALL OF THAT GOING IN, and he claimed that it didn’t bother him.
Anyway, there you have it. I think that the conversation could have been done via phone or in person in a much less tacky fashion, but some people have no home training.
So, I’m single again. My only consolation is that he never really met the J-Man and the family save the odd “hello”.
I swear I’m going to amend my dating site profile to read “please read this sentence over and over again until it sinks in: I cannot drive. I live at home. If you don’t like it, you can lump it.”
That, and: “If you have too many issues, cancel my subscription.”
Lord.
I’m kind of hurt, but I think I’m less hurt over losing him in particular and more hurt by the fact that I am the dumpee and not the dumper, when I’m used to being the dumper.
That sounds shitty and self-centered, but there you go.
I have a party to go to tomorrow night – one of my friends is finally finishing teaching school – and that will no doubt get my mind off of things. I’m very much looking forward to it.
How are YOU?
…wow, what a douchewad.
Me = stunningly poor judge of character
I disagree–I think there are just too many people with NO character out there. Maybe they’re concentrated in your area. Keep wading through them, you’ll find a keeper.
Please don’t kill the messenger, but:
Some guys bullshit themselves so that they don’t feel guilty when all that they really want to do is get laid.
When their rocks are properly gotten off, it sinks in: “I have taken advantage of this person, and a feel like a creep. I hope that she gets the hint and doesn’t try to call me.”
And when you do call, they come up with an excuse that makes it your fault:
“You live at home.”
“You don’t drive.”
“You voted for Obama.”
“You changed your hair color.”
“You like cheese on your hamburger.”
When the real reason is: “Wham. Bam. Thank ya ma’am!”
Are all men like this? No, but it is impossible to tell the good from the bad initially. Sincerity is easily feigned.
You are more than likely right.
And I would never kill ya.
That’s a good point dude. My ex dumped me because I liked to listen to talk radio in the car.
So sorry to hear this. That Dave dude might have a point. Ugh. You would think the older people get the less likely they are to act like this. Hang in there. You’re basically the shiznit.
Also, doesn’t he know that you can’t text message breakup!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nb0s1AePP2g
OMG That’s fucking HILARIOUS. I love Kelly.
I would TOTALLY highlight that on your profile. Because anyone who can’t deal (and LIES about it) is a total douchewaffle.
Ugh. I’m sorry.
That sucks, Jen. What a crapweasel.
Man. What a dickwad. I had a similar thing happen years ago, and it sucks. He doesn’t deserve you, Jen. Not at all. Dickwad.
Crapweasel is my new favorite word. I was planning on going with the classic “motherfucker”
a text message? there are no words. technology sux!
is there an iphone app that will slit his tires for you?
a guy i loved broke up with me when i was like 14. i stalked him at his wok and threw a condom filled with a foamy mixture of hand lotion and wesson oil smack ass on the top pat of his windshield- so it looked like spunk rolling out of the condom and down his windshield.
we got back together a few months later and one night it started raining. when he flipped on the wipers, it left greasy smears all over the glass. he was still pissed and cursing. i laughed my ass off when i got home.
so if you want to get all middle school on him, let me know!
Aw…sorry to hear that….just like Carrie with berger, getting dumped via a hands-off direction. There are way more fish in the sea, you’ll catch one soon enough….and take him home…for dinner >:)
dave hit the nail on the head! sad but true. it’s always nice to have a guy friend put life into perspective for you….especially when you have been whopped by a douchebag!
i’ve been reading you for years girlie and back in the day we had a few email convos….back in the day of “d” i think he was called, the diaryland days
i love to read your posts, they are fun, sad, true and enlightening but most of all REAL!!!…keep ya head up sista!
Mr Tall is looking kinda puny in my opinion of him. Idiot/loser/Coward for dumping you by a text message. Well you did the right thing sweetie – You washed him right outta your hair with the snazzy new cut and color ! I love the new look, I really do. Now it’s time to concentrate on your new digs with Gargoyles to look over your shoulder while you are on your computer, keeping you safe.
Be well Jen –
John in Phoenix
He’s a jerk. You are better off without him. What a wuss he is sheesh.