July 8th, 2010 | Author: trancejen
So, I’ve been perusing a couple of dating sites for quite some time now, and I have discovered something rather ugly about myself, something rather dark and dim about my nature that actually pains me:
I am an ageist.
I don’t like older men.
I don’t like *most* older men, I should say. I don’t like older men unless they’re, well, hot.
Lately I have had a barrage of mail from men who are, shall we say, well past their prime; and while I do reply to said men, my heart isn’t in it at all.
For starters, many of them send old photos, as if they’re trying to hide their age, and that just pisses me off.
I had a man send me a photo yesterday that must have been a good forty years old. To quote my good friend Sue, “it was taken at his high school reunion, and he graduated with Moses”.
While he wasn’t THAT old, the photo did have a twenties sort of vibe, including a tiny little mustache.
I then proceeded to make her pee in her pants by talking about what we would do on our date, including the Charleston, buying hooch, talking about FDR’s policies, frequenting the local speakeasy, and seeing a silent film.
All jokes aside, I don’t understand why men don’t date women their own age. (DAD, I’m looking at YOU.)
I don’t really feel I’d have very much in common with a man in his fifties unless he was really a hip sort of man. I don’t know. Perhaps I just have yet to be proven wrong, and perhaps the bad haircuts and jowly faces in the photos I am sent are not helping matters much.
I’m not saying that I’m hot shit on a silver platter, mind you, but Lord, I don’t want a cold turd on a paper plate!
These men often seem to be highly sexualized, as well, which is all fine and great and good, since I am as well, but I am truly not looking for an IM conversation that goes like this:
(I think you can guess which person is me. Hint: I punctuate.)
Hi
Hello.
hows it going
Good, and you?
good
Tell me a little about yourself.
do you like to fuck
?
i have a big cockk
OK, well…
u wanna suck my cock
Sorry, I have to go.
This is an accurate representation of several IM conversations I have had over the last few days, and sadly, they’re about as intelligent as it gets.
I don’t know what about my photo says “I’m your little go-to girl for sexting”, but apparently something does.
I guess I need to drape myself in Victorian garb and look all prim and proper.
The younger men can be just as bad, don’t get me wrong, but they’re rarely as bold.
I would date a nice older man if I found him attractive and he seemed to be intelligent and we had some shared interests. However, the men I’ve met don’t fit the bill.
I do find myself frequently attracted to younger men, which makes me feel slightly pervy. Men in their twenties. Rowr.
Does this make me an ageist?
I’m disheartened today. If I wanted a father figure, I would call up my dad and have a nice cup of coffee. I certainly wouldn’t be trolling for sex on Yahoo.
I’m trancejen on Yahoo, by the way, should any of you like to chat. And I do mean CHAT, not have virtual sex. I’m full up to my ears in virtual sex.
Happy Thursday. Go out and have sex the old-fashioned way.
Full up to your ears in virtual sex? Ew.
Anyway, the Mom always says, “When I was in my twenties, I liked men who were in their forties. Now that I’m nearly seventy – I still like men in their forties.”
Fucking hilarious post. Our IM yesterday had me quite hysterical as well… at least we have each other to bitch at. (PS, you should be ashamed of making fun of people for their disabilities.)
LOL….
I don’t know what about my photo says “I’m your little go-to girl for sexting”
Um, all of it?
After reading that post, I looked over at my hotdog, which has it’s little pink head poking out of the bun and I just wasn’t what I wanted to stick in my mouth at the moment.
True story.
I chatted online with a guy for almost 2 months that lied about his age. Actually, 2 of them now that I think about it! One was in his 60’s pretending to be 34 (ha!) The other one was 48 pretending to be 38. (zabasearch dot com helps to verify such things) The 60yo sent me pics of him from the 1970’s lol and I called him on it. I mean, they were seriously yellowing and you could tell what decade it was by the clothes he was wearing. Stupid freakin idiots I swear! The 2nd guy I met on myspace and I threatened to tell all his “friends” he was lying about his age if he didn’t come clean (his profile said he was 38 but I had proof he was 48.) Later that week he changed his age on MS to 99 so I’m certain he’s still lying his ass off to girls he was chatting with (most of them in their 20’s and too stupid to do the research on him like I did) but at least I got him to publicly say he wasn’t 38 on his stupid profile haha. I’m 36 and I would rather deal with a 20-something than someone 10-20 years older. I just find that the older guys turn out to be creepy with loads of baggage and that they are more apt to lie, lie and LIE!! (in my experience so far) Sigh…so ya, we’re in the same boat sister!
p.s. I wanted to add that the 48yo pretending to be 38 was actually really good looking and we had a lot in common despite the age difference (I was 34 at the time) so if he had come clean from the get go about his age it would NOT have been a problem. The guy was loaded and had a really nice house and car which was something I had rarely come across. I mean, it totally could have worked out except for his lying! Duh on him, right? ugh
Sorry, I’ll stop now
Ray – hee!
I can’t say I’m ageist, except that guys in their 20s tend to do nothing for me (I’m 44). I look at them and think, “Oh, he looks like a little boy!” I like them no more than ten years younger and up to twenty years older, as long as the older men are still very vital. I’ve known men who were easily in their 60s and 70s who were far more vital than men I’ve known in their 30s. Hell, I’d still do Mike Farrell in a heartbeat and he’s 71! (However, we have several mutual friends, so maybe it’s best not to go down that road…)
But, yeah, in the end, it’s more important that the guy just be honest. There’s bound to be someone who would find them attractive, as long as they’re realistic and don’t expect Scarlett Johansson when they look like Wilford Brimley.
I’m laughing so hard my sons had to come see if I was dying when they heard me start to wheeze. I’m not particularly ageist, and typically prefer men older than I am but not by decades. You have to have things in common and I don’t know that I have much in common with someone in their sixties…other than the fact they might know my parents? I’m only 35
Good luck finding better candidates!!
the next time they want you to gobble the giggle stick, tell them you are a mid-transition tranny. they will either turn and run OR they will get a chubbie. make them guess where you are in the process.
if they send you a picture of mr. peanut, ask them if they are saving the other half of it for a rainy day or did they blow it off with firecrackers.
my friend tried plentyoffish.com and got a picture from a guy claiming to be 35. he was sporting porkchop sideburns and wearing a shiny disco suit with bellbottoms, posing in front of a ford pinto. even in that picture, he looked older than 35.
p.s. tara, i had the last bite of a corndog in my mouth when i read your comment. thanks!
Just respond with “No, because I don’t want to go to Hell. Hold on while I get my Bible and explain…”
Ugh, I had the same experience when I had a profile on this website where you can meet language partners. My profile said I was looking for someone to speak Japanese with, my status was “taken”, and literally every section of my profile concluded with, “And I don’t want to date you.” One fateful day, this 60-something-year-old man e-mails me asking if we can have a “sexy webcam chat” or something. I was 19 at the time, so I said, “No thank you, you are literally 3 times my age.” Did he get PISSED. I think I still have the e-mail – I will definitely find it and share it with you when I have more time! It’s a laffer. There’s something hilarious about someone trying to tell you what’s what in a language they can’t speak. But basically the short version is I’m a huge racist and a total bitch and I’ll probably end up chasing after 20-year-olds when I’m his age.
I’m SO glad I’m not the only one. Not that I’m reveling in y’alls misery or anything. Keep the stories coming! Awesome.
When I was in my early 40s, I lamented to my stepmother that all the men my age wanted to date 20-year-olds. My stepmother, who was newly dating (my father is deceased), in turn lamented to me that all the men her age (60s) wanted to date 40-year-olds.
It’s obnoxious.
The weird thing to me is that the men seem oblivious to how pervy they appear/act. They must really buy into that urban legend that all women are stupid.
Seriously y’all. This “including the Charleston,…talking about FDR’s policies” MADE ME PEE. I was doing that muttley laugh and the silent wheezey thing and the “no more!” gestures with my hands… AT A COMPUTER.
Now for my flipside…. There is a young man (had no idea how young) who got all chatty on a BlackJack site (BAD BAPTIST! No Cookie!) and gave me his number and his email. ON THE SITE. I was like, “Dude, first off don’t lay out your number like that… you can end up in crazy-ville, I’ve visited, it ain’t pretty.” He emailed me, found out he was “18 about to be 19″ and wanted to know if we could have a serious relationship. Lord. Not to add insult to injury when he told me what he did it was something like, “I work full time in construction but in my off time i am a rodeo clown.” What can I say? I AM IN LOVE.
Tom Selleck is still good. No idea how old he is, though.
But there’s no reason you should be automatically interested in some random old guy.
“He’d have to be really vibrant” (to quote Seinfeld) “So vibrant he’d be spinning.”
Check out this OK Cupid blog post if you haven’t already:
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/2010/02/16/the-case-for-an-older-woman/