June 18th, 2010 | Author: trancejen
So. Apparently I’m single again.
I really don’t know, because I haven’t heard from Norton all week, but my mother tells me I’ve been dumped, and the general consensus is that yeah, I’ve been dumped.
I sort of have to agree.
This is what went down, and maybe you can tell me what you think.
So last Friday night, before the SummerBash, Norton spent the night. What I didn’t say in my SummerBash post was that he was quiet. I mean silent-as-the-dead quiet. I don’t think he uttered one word to the J-Man, and he sure was reticent when it came to talking to me.
I had a couple of seizures, which have been happening a lot lately, but really I was fine, and later that evening in bed we talked, and he expressed that he’d been feeling down.
I was understanding, or so I thought.
The next day, he didn’t say a single word to the J-Man or even to me without prodding, and when I asked him what was wrong, he said, “Nothing.”
By the time we left for the B-Bash, I was getting a little irritated, namely because I felt I had put a lot of effort into interacting with his children, and he was putting absolutely none into interacting with mine. In fact, he was making it clear that he was downright miserable.
During the car ride over the kids asked a couple of questions about where we were going, and why we didn’t take the (shorter) iPass route through the toll booth, and he totally snapped on them.
Now I understand that kids can be a pain in the ass, but kids are kids, and kids ask questions, and I thought that it was totally unnecessary.
That concluded the interaction of Norton and the children.
He sat stone-faced during the concert and did not speak to me once, except to tell me that he was leaving my seizure-having ass with the kids to go sit in the car, which pissed me off even further, because there were medical personnel all around, and I did not want to be dragged into the back of an ambulance should an incident occur.
Anyway, the whole day was a fiasco. I understand that the B-Bash was loud and crazy and not fun, but I didn’t force him to go. I could have taken my father, who would have had a great time. I told him going in that it was going to be a loud rap concert, and I paid for everything.
He left that night without a word, and did not call me the next day.
On Monday, my mother had asked him to paint the inside of the garage and clean the gutters, so when he came over, I asked him what was wrong.
“Sometimes I’m just quiet. I don’t know what more I can tell you.” Then he went on about his business.
He did not speak to me for the rest of the day, and then left. He has not called me since.
My mother thinks that he was frightened off by the seizures, but he knew going in that I had seizures, so I really don’t think that’s it. I don’t know.
I don’t know what the fuck to think. This is the same guy who, just a week ago, was telling me how badly he wanted to move in with me.
I don’t get it.
I don’t get it at all.
And to end it like this, without so much as a phone call or even a damned e-mail, was a dick move.
So, there you have it. I have been dumped. I didn’t cry or freak out, mainly because I have been so mad that I haven’t had time to do so.
So endeth the saga of Jen and Norton.
What do you think?
Happy Friday.
AAaaaaah! Why does everything have to be so goddamn cryptic??? Cowards. It makes all this that much harder. I am so sorry, Jen. Maybe you will hear from him, maybe you won’t. You know my story with J, so, I got nothin’. Love you.
Well, as far as the seizures go, knowing about them and experiencing them are two completely different animals. EVEN SO, dumping you like that, no matter WHAT the reason, is a seriously asshat move. And snapping at the kids, because he’s mad at you (for scaring him and showing him for a coward) that is just too much.
What a prick. And I’m so sorry that someone you really liked turned out to be such a prick.
heh, could he have some medical issues of his own? like depression? my hubs acts just like this (quiet, mopey, snappy) when he meds need to be adjusted. or it could just be a dickhead move after actually seeing you seize. either way, its a chickenshit action.
I think you’ve been dumped. I don’t understand why people can’t just say, “You know, this was going okay at first, but now I’m not so into it and I’d rather not have a relationship at this time.” I mean, no one loves hearing that but it’s better than just a vast silence. Sorry, hon. xoxo
I can’t believe I am going to be Ms. Sunshine about this but MAYBE he just is off processing things in the way that guys do.
Of course, the way he is going about it is rather a$$holey. He could of at least said I need a little space.
I agree with Michele as well, maybe he has some depression issues that are causing him to isolate.
I certaintly wouldn’t go chasing him down to find out. Just let it be and wait and see I guess.
Regardless I believe whether it is Norton or someone else that there is someone who is going to treat you as the fabulous person you are. <3
No matter what his intentions/feelings are, you and the J-man deserve better than someone who can’t at least be polite and reciprocate the effort you’ve put into being nice to his kids. If he knew he was going to act like a moody wet blanket, he shouldn’t have gone. And if he is breaking up with you by freezing you out, just look at it as a good thing that you’re finding out his true nature now rather than later on down the road.
First off, hugs…..
second point…. wow, he sat in the car? Your right, you could have taken anyone, but you chose him. Seriously he should have been nice enough to sit through the whole thing WITH you….. jeez I would have put a smile on my face and had a good time regardless. If not for you, for the kids atleast.
Im thinking he has issues. It’s just not right that he hasn’t even called. My guess is that he has something going on in that man brain of his that caused him to make a not so nice decision with the relationship……
give it time, if he doesn’t call… so be it. You deserve better, so does the J-man.
honey, i’m sorry. it happens. men are like that: after all, they ARE missing a chromosome. sometimes when that happens you get down’s syndrome’s children, and sometimes you just get males.
he proved to you he is not a nice person. you need and DESERVE a nice man to be your partner.
whatever you do, don’t call him, text him, email him or drive by his house 6 million times an hour. leave him alone. forget about him. it will be hard. but you need to forget he ever existed. if you must think about him, think about the bad times rather than the good times. forget him. ignore him. remove his number from your phone- or if you don’t want to be that extreme, turn his personal ringtone to silent, rename his contact with a filthy cursing phrase and remove his photo so it doesn’t show on the caller id. convince yourself you don’t care if he calls you. but dammit, DON’T CONTACT HIM! tell your mama to stop asking him to paint shit!
he’ll find his way back if he is supposed to be with you, on his own timetable. just let him go. if you see him out, just give a casual wave and then go about your business. make him seek you out. even if your heart is hurting so bad you would be surprised to see a pool of blood on your shirt. make him work to earn you back.
meanwhile, find you another guy. they have tons of men all over the internet. try plentyofish.com. it’s free. you don’t even have to actually meet anybody, just start a few email relationships. you won’t have time to think about him.
if/when he comes back, make the bastard grovel! get lots of cash and merchandise prizes. make him earn the right to be in the presence of your company. get your mom to start making him paint shit again!
but never forget that he had no problem walking away from you once. do you need that hanging over your head? always know that you may never hear from him again.
men are like buses, if you didn’t catch the one that just went by, there’s another one coming in 15 minutes you can hop on!
it will be okay! i promise.
Thanks to all for your nice sentiments and advice.
Ugh… the refusal to communicate is the worst. And as an adult, it’s pretty shameful that he is not be more mature than to rudely bail like that. Hopefully, there is some comfort in knowing that it’s not about you at all (he clearly has commitment/communication problems) and that you discovered his problems before moving in or getting more involved. I say move on as quickly as possible. Easier said than done, I know, but really you are way way way too cool for this level of childish bs.
I’m with Amy above. Dang.
You’ve been dumped. Or, actually, he ran scared.
Yep – good thing this problem came up before you two moved in together, or even started any further down that planning-path. Move on, forget him, he may or may not be Teh Ebil (I don’t think so, I just think he’s A Guy, and want and deserve A Man), but unless he’s been working deep cover on a sekrit gub’mint projekt, he’s got some growing up to do before he goes into a relationship. (Namely: if it’s not going to work out, one says something – one simply does not pull a French leave. Not unless one wants a karmic boot sent through one’s digestive system in reverse.)
It’s also possible that he’s got other serious issues that were rearing their collective ugly heads before Summerbash itself. But again, the grown-up, adult, I-can-tie-my-own-shoes-and-everything approach is to say something to the other person – something a wee bit more informative than “I’ve been feeling a bit down.”
…make that “I just think he’s A Guy, and you want and deserve A Man”.
I cannot post goodly today. I have the dumb.
//ASCII characters fly overhead in the Missing Word formation
I’m so sorry for you. I had so much hope for Norton. I agree with Lee. Do not contact him at all. He sounds like every cowardly noncommital guy I dated before my husband.
Sounds like one of my ex-boyfriends… 100 miles an hour til he slammed it in reverse.
Fucktard.
Anyhoo, should I introduce him to the power of the Treo?
-darth fredlet
I have this weird feeling that it’s not a dumping. I think based on what you have said about him that he have more class than to break things off by simply dropping from sight. Especially since email and even a text message (although that’s some tacky ass way of doing things) give even the biggest coward a way to man (or woman) up. I think there’s something possibly going on in his own life, something weird and Not Good and isn’t at a point where he can share whether it be about the two of you or something else entirely. I really think you’ll hear from him by the end of the weekend. Whether it be to end things or explain what’s going on or both, remains to be seen.
He still should have made more of an effort with J-man though, that wasn’t cool no matter what’s blowing up in his head.
Witnessing seizures is scary, and makes you feel helpless, even if you’re aware that they could happen. One isn’t an a$$hole or a coward simply for being spooked by that.
If you don’t care about Norton, don’t bother to contact him. If you do, call him and tell him that you do. Ask him calmly if something is wrong, and tell him if he’s dumped you that you would just like to know why – whether it is your seizures or your kid, whatever. Tell him you would have appreciated him simply saying so, instead of leaving you to wonder and worry.
Maybe you’ll find out it has nothing to do with you, and that he has some unrelated personal concern, and just didn’t want to burden you with it, since you have your own problems. Or maybe he reacted that way because he really loves you and he’s scared he will lose you, but he didn’t want to seem like a wimp by saying so. How bad are you going to feel about yourself if you find out later that it was something like that and you didn’t bother to check on him?
Refusing to call someone you care about (unless he has told you not to) is just as inconsiderate as refusing to talk, yelling at kids, and leaving an unenjoyable event to sit in the car. What is your son learning about the way to treat people you supposedly love?
Uhm. As the White Sox announcer would say ‘He gone…”. Even if he’s not, this was a true colors revealing moment. Dust yourself off and get back on your horse cowgirl. There IS that special someone out there for you! You just have to find each other. I would hate for you to stew and get into a funk over this and misconnect with your soulmate
I think that’s a load of shit. Sorry babe.
You may not have been dumped, but if you haven’t? He needs a serious attitude adjustment. It reminds me of my ex. Emotional manipulation. Literally. He would sit and CRY everytime I did something he didn’t like me doing. Like, literally sit there and weep because ‘I must not love him as much as he did me’.
Things like oh. “being overweight” and “having a tangle in your hair” and, my absolute favorite “listening to the radio when I’m in the car.”
Heya beautiful lady of mine –
Speaking from the male point of view, I too am thinking that Norton has something going on in his personal life and he may be trying to deal with it outside of his relationship with you. I saw that warning flag when you posted about him going out to the car at the Rap-Bash, leaving you alone with the kids. I too have a bad habit of shutting out the people that I care about the most when trying to deal with a bad personal issue. Kind of a stupid primal thing and not meant to intentionally hurt, but very real just the same.
I would suggest that you write him a sincere email to ask if there is something that is bothering him at home that you can help him deal with because you do care and then somehow asking him if your relationship with him is the issue. Be gentle yet firm in your verbiage. It is your right to know and if he is sincere in any of his feelings that he has shared with you then he will tell you what is happening.
If he doesn’t respond – I would close this chapter and concentrate on Jen and the J-man moving into a new home and a new beginning. So sorry that this is happening sweetie, but speculation leads nowhere…Time to send him your own thoughts in one of your amazing emails. You are a lot stronger than most people that I know and God knows that you have a command over the english language that most people can only dream of mastering. Go Girl – You can do this!
I’ll be thinking about you kiddo.
– John in Phoenix
What do I think? I think he’s a cowardly suck-ass dick, that’s what I think.
What do I think?
I think you’ve had a lucky escape.
This is not the way that one should handle difficulties.
He’s being punitive, cowardly and juvenile. That’s not a good prospect for the future.
Still bites, though.
Sorry he’s been such a prick.
I’m sorry dear…I am not sure what to make of this…he sounded like such a wonderful guy and he knew everything that he was getting into with you, so I’m not sure why the seizures would ‘freak him out’ unless he wasn’t really prepared to see them in real time…I’m not sure! Have you tried contacting him and asking him point blank what the deal is or no desire what so ever to do that b/c you’re just so angry? ::HUGS:: at any rate!
well, he obviously wasnt the person you thought he was. Sucks when that happens. (((hugs)))