June 23rd, 2010 | Author: trancejen
I guess everything balances out, because I do have more good news.
I saw my eye doctor yesterday, and had some testing done, with shitty results; which is not, of course, my good news. My visual fields were for crap, and my vision itself was horrible.
I should mention here that I did just recently learn that by pressing Control and + in Firefox I can increase my fonts to astronomically large sizes, which has pretty much changed my life. No more hunching over the screen and squinting like a crone! Yay!
Anyway, the eye doctor believes (and so do I) that the Lamictal I was previously on for seizures helped my eyesight a great deal, and going off of it really screwed up my world.
If you’ll remember back a bit, it even helped my bum right eye. Unfortunately, my insurance stopped paying for it, and I had to stop taking it.
The eye doctor said that he would call my neurologist and see whether the two of them working together could somehow get me back on the medication.
What I was wondering was whether I could take it concurrently with my Topamax and Neurontin, because really, the Lamictal didn’t do shit for my seizures.
Anyway, the doctors conferred, and one or both of them called my insurance company, and lo and behold, the insurance company agreed to pay for the generic version of the medication! What really stuns me is that miracle of miracles, this all happened in ONE DAY.
Therefore I am back on the Lamictal, in addition to my other seizure meds, so hopefully this will cause a positive change in my vision like it did before.
The eye doctor believes that the reason my vision is shit is due to a nerve inflammation behind my eyes, and that the Lamictal somehow has an effect on those nerves. He doesn’t quite know how or why, but he admits that the brain and the optic nerves are mysterious things that are often difficult to explain.
I’ll take that, I guess. I’m just keeping my fingers crossed that this works.
I’m really hopeful.
In other news, it has been storming off and on lately, dramatic storming with loud, booming thunder, and both the J-Man and the cats have been beating a hasty retreat down into the basement as if their little asses were on fire.
The J-Man does this because he’s read too many WHAT TO DO IN CASE OF AN EMERGENCY pamphlets at school. The cats simply go batshit crazy when loud noises occur.
The TranceCave has become a haven during these storms, and we all curl up on the bed and watch stupid cartoons (power permitting) until the thunder and lightning passes.
In other news, I am smoking. I know that I suck and I am stupid and I am going to hell and I will get emphysema and the baby Jesus doesn’t love me any more and I am polluting the air and I have stank breath and I am filthy and undesirable and horrible and dirty and smelly and black-lunged and stupid and vile and evil and all countless other rotten things, I KNOW THIS, but you know what? I am sick of apologizing. I’m stressed, I’m having five seizures a fucking day, and I just don’t care right now. I will quit before the move.
Sigh.
The truth is that I feel as guilty as shit about starting again, and I hate it.
I do have good news, though. I’m running on good news.
Happy Wednesday.
That is good news! I knew there would be a generic brand out there some day for you!
And about the smoking…just know you have a huge support system who will be there when your ready.
Oh and dump the guilt, it doesn’t do anyone any good.
In fact, I believe that was a New Years Resolution for me one year. I gave up guilt.
Live life on purpose. Its a good motto.
Hooray for good news!
If you keep having medical problems that the insurance won’t pay for, you might think of contacting your congresscritter and asking if there isn’t anything they can do, ahead of the whole 2014-insurance-companies-not-being-allowed-to-be-dipshits thing.
And…yes, dump the excessive guilt. You know you don’t like the behavior, you know you want to do something about it, it’s one of your prime stress relievers, you’re going through a whole lotta stress. You will kick this in time.
Wish I could make it out to Vegas. I need a vacation like nobody’s business and I can’t afford the $1,500 it will take to get to DragonCon (and stay in a hotel, assuming one can be found in Atlanta on Memorial Day Weekend with a major convention, NASCAR, and college football games going on)…but, alas, I must replace the water heater this summer. (Dammit!!!)
Thanks for the Firefox tip. I never got the memo!
Excuse me while I light up a Pall Mall Ultralight 100 *snick of the lighter, suck suck suck annnddd * ahhh ! A smoking stinking lung-killing thing that thank-you-all-very-much is something that soothes me. Mmmm nasty smoking. What the Hell ever people.
So, back on the Lamictal again. Coolness for you dear. It’s about time the damn insurance company stepped up to the plate and did something positive on your behalf for a change. As for me? I now have Binder and Binder fighting for my SSDI. We’ll see where that lands. Also have Mommy dearest staying here in Phoenix with me for a week or two as a Father’s day present to my Papa.
Here is to hoping that you once again regain stereoscopic vision sweetie !
John in Phoenix.
Okay, have you never put together that perhaps your son is getting sick because of your smoking? I understand it is hard to q
uit but you have to put your sons needs first…
Dear Truth, I don’t smoke around my son. Ever. But thank you for the guilt trip. You might want to try BP next.
To the rest of you, thanks.
Meh, we’ll always be smokers; just not actively smoking for a large part of our lives if we’re successful with quitting. Also, if you are going to smoke, SMOKE. It’s no fun doing something you’re not supposed to do if you are going to feel crappy about it.
And to add, if it’s not fun, then why do it?
Fingers crossed for your eyeballs. That’s so awesome the doctors worked out the meds for you. I ditto the comments regarding guilt – it’ll do you more harm than good. Remember, progress, not perfection. You’ll get there but beating yourself up in the meantime isn’t productive. Or nice.
Fuck the guilt.
I’m a hard core non-smoker who grew up around cigarette smoke. I hates the tobacco smoke, I do. But you’ve got a lot of stress going on right now and if the cigarettes help to keep you from going postal for the time being (and seeing how you don’t smoke around the J-Man), light up, babe.
Crossing fingers for the effectiveness of the new meds. Good on your eye doctor and the other doctors for combating the insurance company on your behalf.
I was going to comment and say everything Carol Elaine said but clearly she beat me to it. So, what she said. To the nth degree. J-man is lucky you are his mom.
there is something else you can do to make the font bigger, but i dont know what it is – my dog just did it with his chin on my keyboard right as i was reading about your font discovery. Also once when i was on AIM he did a keyboard short cut and sent two sentences i had previously typed to someone else to the person i was chatting with. He has mysterious husky powers. Good luck w/ the eyes. My life has been almost good (saying a lot) since i have started taking Lamictal. I LOVE those weird shaped blue pills.