I had a neurologist appointment this morning, so my mother kindly took an hour off of work to drive me.

I felt sort of shitty as we sat in the waiting room, but it was eighty-five degrees out, so I didn’t think much of it. What I was thinking about was the fact that my mother was hissing “Your boobs are hanging out!” every forty seconds or so.

I have big boobs. I was wearing a tank top. It happens. Truthfully, I could not possibly give less of a shit whether the entire neurologist’s office was ogling my tits. I was there to get my disability paperwork and find out whether he was going to increase my seizure meds.

I was called into the office by the nurse and weighed (lost six pounds) and asked to sit on the exam table so that I could have my blood pressure taken.

It was 140 over 90, which is shockingly high for me. I normally hover somewhere around the 90 over 50 range, and I told the nurse this.

“I don’t feel well,” I said. “I feel sort of dizzy.”

“Did you eat?” she asked.

“Yeah,” I said, and then everything went black.

Apparently I had a seizure right then and there and bashed my head against the doctor’s fine little blood pressure monitor. I woke up to the nurse, holding my thighs so that I wouldn’t slide off of the exam table, asking me if I could hear her. They had called the doctor in while it was happening, and I guess he saw the whole damn thing.

Shit.

Obviously I got my seizure meds increased. And my paperwork filled out. He filled it out on the fly, even attaching copies of exam notes. I think I scared the shit out of him.

I feel like utter crap, but in retrospect, it’s probably one of the best things that could have happened. At least now he knows what the hell I’m talking about.

In other news, I am going to help my neighbor finish moving today.

That’s all the news that’s fit to spit.

Happy Wednesday.

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