March 28th, 2010 | Author: trancejen
So, I smoked on Friday night.
I smoked about eight cigarettes, primarily because I was with V., who is an evil, bad, bad influence, secondarily because I was drinking many beers.
Friday night V. and I wound up waiting until the J-Man was about to go to bed and heading over to the home of A&A, who are a lovely lesbian couple that we like to hang out with and who were hosting brunch the next morning for a whole cabal of us crazy bitches.
We stayed up half the night drinking and talking and laughing like maniacs, and it was a lot of fun.
And I smoked. I am not proud. I screwed up royally. But I am back on the patch and back in the saddle or on the wagon or whatever the hell you want to call it, and I am trying again.
Sigh.
I feel terribly guilty, but I am still trying to look at it this way: Eight cigarettes in two weeks is not so horribly bad. For me, it is really really good, and now I know that A: I need to avoid beer until I am stronger-willed, and B: I need to avoid V.
Kidding. I won’t avoid her, but I will be a little more vigilant around her, since I know she is a die-hard chain-smoker.
So that’s that. Trying again, avoiding alcohol.
Saturday morning’s brunch was a big, loud, mimosa-filled blast, and I ate my weight in biscuits and gravy and drank far too many mimosas and nearly laughed until I peed on the couch as friends performed junior-high-school dance routines.
It was a good weekend, smoking aside.
How was yours?
You are forgiven my child *swooping signs with hand over your head* Sing three choruses of Sweet Caroline and go forth and sin no more.
Thank you, Mother Eileen! *boes*
*bows*
Just out of curiosity, have you considered Chantix or can you not use it because of the other drugs you are on? My parents both quit smoking last year after 40 years of being pack-a-day smokers, and they both used Chantix. Each reported exactly NO cravings. Also, my brother who quit said the same thing, “I didn’t even want one. It just seemed so unnecessary”. I wanted to use it when I quit, but I couldn’t use anything (not even the stupid gum) for medical reasons.
I don’t know if I can use it or not, but to be honest I’m sort of terrified about the depression side effect. I have a propensity toward that side of things anyway, and I’m worried that it would happen to me…
It sounds like you had a really great weekend Jen! You are a strong woman Jen, for not only admitting that you did smoke, but to also get back on that non-smoking horse and start again.
It’s a very hard thing that you are doing, and in the grand scheme of things, 8 cigarettes is not bad at all! Hang in there lady!
Oh my dearest one… So you fell off the ciggie wagon. Guess what – ALL of us that smoke have done that one time or another. Quitting smoking is a process of wins and failures for ALL of us. Ya know Jen that the only time I quit smoking was when I became a Mormon and subsequently went on a 2 year mission as a Mormon missionary to Spain. I also quit because I had the same person that brought me into the church and all of the LDS discussions that just happened to be a great female friend of mine. Unlike you though I was younger, no child and still in great health looking looking looking to be anything but a Gay man. First thing I did upon getting on the plane in Madrid Spain to come back home was to snag a GAY flight attendent to go back to the duty-free part at the back of the 747 and buy me a pack of smokes. LOL. He then moved me up to 1st class (no chg) for the trip home. Lemee call you now…
Well dear it is now 6:54 Mountain standard time here in Phoenix and I just got off the phone with your Mother. Oh the things we talked about… – No not really. She said that your were sleeping and I took a few minutes of her time to just kinda talk with her. Nothing personal I promise. We talked about the impending move and the J-mans school. I’ll call you tomorrow Jen. Promise. On DANNY’S Wifes’ dime.
Don’t worry about the smoking Jen. Just take it day by day, then hour by hour et al.
Love you my Internet friend.
John in Phoenix