The gas people were here today, installing a new outside meter. To do so, they had to shut off the gas. This took three hours and a lot of outside banging and clanging, and when they were done, a Dude came inside to turn on and check all of our various appliances.

I should have known something was amiss when he said “check”, because everything in my house is a hundred years old or more.

First he checked the hot-water heater, which I was fairly confident about, since I purchased it only a couple of years ago.

Wrong. Apparently the people who installed it installed the pipes against code. Red Tag! And with that, I had no hot water.

Next was the dryer, which was relatively new, too. Thankfully that was fine.

The furnace was fine and the thermostat was fine, and then Dude turned on the oven.

His little machine started to beep loudly, and I knew that couldn’t be good.

It wasn’t. I guess our oven was giving out 450 ppm of carbon monoxide, and Dude stared at me and spoke in a Very Serious Tone when he red-tagged it and told me that it could have killed us all dead.

Shit.

Therefore my mother and I are making frantic calls to appliance repair shops, trying to get people to come out NOW, TODAY to fix our shit up because my mother is on the warpath.

My mother dislikes broken things more than most.

I can live without a stove for a couple of days. maybe even hot water. I’m malleable that way.

My mother is as malleable as a steel beam.

So that’s my day. How are you?

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