December 2nd, 2009 | Author: trancejen
Actually, I don’t have the right to talk about stress, my sister is fucking HOMELESS.
This has become a sort of barometer of crapitude in the Trance house. “Here you are asking for a Wii for Christmas, when your aunt is HOMELESS?” “Here you are bitching about buying Christmas presents when your sister is HOMELESS?”
It’s endlessly fun.
I don’t know where they are. They were here the other day, making calls to shelters that are all full, and now they’re in the wind.
My sister doesn’t call, ostensibly because she is pissed that they can’t all stay here, but there’s just no way they can all stay here. We can’t do it. We can’t afford it. If she got a job, helped herself, something, it might be different.
Maybe we’re callous. I don’t know. I myself am finding it hard to believe that she can’t get at least seasonal work, stocking shelves, waitressing, SOMETHING, ANYTHING. The city has nearly-free childcare for the indigent, so why the fuck not?
She might be staying at Baby-Daddy #1’s grandmother’s house, which is where she previously dumped the oldest two kids.
The grandmother didn’t want her there because of the baby (plus because she’s seventy-odd years old, for Christ’s sakes), but she may have relented.
Had she stayed another day, we were going to just give up and offer her the living room.
Maybe we should have.
I don’t know.
The thing is that if they stay here, they will never leave. And my mother just doesn’t need any more stress, other than driving me and the J-Man and my stepdad all over God’s creation, AND cleaning offices, AND her day job.
She’s worn out, and I feel horrible about it. Having my sister and her three kids would be too much. Hell, it would probably be too much for me.
Still, I don’t want my sister to be homeless. Especially at Christmastime.
I don’t know. I’m really trying hard to wrap my head around all of this.
The story of my stepdad and stepsiblings is this(some of you asked): My mom started dating Stepdad when I was fourteen, and they’ve been together ever since, sometimes living together, sometimes not. We call him my stepdad even though he is not “officially” my stepdad, because they’ve never actually gotten married.
So my siblings are not my blood siblings, or really my siblings at all, but we call them that.
They’ve been around for twenty-two years, what else would you call them?
Anyway, I think of her as my sister, my little sister whose hair I used to gently curl when she was four, who used to sit in my lap and laugh, and I wonder where she is.
Whether she’s cold.
Whether her kids are fed.
And I wonder why shit has to turn out like this.
Sorry I’m not more cheerful today. It’s just been A Day.
Tonight is J’s advent performance at the church, and I will look at all the well-fed, well-dressed children with parents who work and have beautiful homes and wonder whether they know how incredibly blessed they are.
Happy Wednesday.
My sister was homeless for a while (like literally living in the bush on and off for a year with her loser boyfriend), and it’s damn hard to watch it. I just wanted to let you know that I understand it’s hard, and I feel for you and your family. You do what you have to do. Take care, and try to enjoy the good stuff you have. I’ve read this blog for years (right back to diaryland days) and I’ve seen your struggles too. Drop and email if you want; I’d be glad to discuss homeless family members.
Thanks.
Oy…I’m sorry to hear about your sister my dear…my hope is that she is able to pull her head out of her ass and utilize the free childcare while working…*fingers crossed* I’m sorry that you feel bad about not letting her stay, but she’s an adult and it’s time that she started to do things for herself. I hope that’s not too harsh, but in prior posts you always mentioned that you guys helped her out and it sounds like that’s just what she’s looking for–don’t let her make you feel bad. She will be okay. MANY MANY MANY hugs to you, TranceJen.
Stepdad and Trancemom have an interesting set-up =)! I think it’s kinda neat that they’ve been together all this time without having to get married =). I wish you much luck when you all move in together ::HUGS::.
Sometimes tough love is the only way to go. When people have exhausted all of their options and aren’t able to be enabled any longer, it can cause miracles to happen. This may be the moment that makes her understand the results of the choices that she’s made. It may not. But that’s the way of things, no? It doesn’t make it any easier for you, and when you’re in the thick of it, it’s cold comfort. But please believe me when I say there certainly is hope for her. You can still love and support her and give her what she needs just by being there for her if she can forgive you long enough to want to talk to you, lol. I don’t know, maybe she needs to spend this Christmas alone. But if it’s the start of something good, is it really such a bad thing?