My mother picked today to become violently, shockingly ill, and is currently in her room under five blankets, puking into a bowl. This, after puking all over the bed. And the floor. And the rug. I have cleaned more puke today than I know what to do with.

I generally am the Designated Side Dish Woman, not the Turkey Cooker, so I’m slightly afraid that the damned thing will be either over- or under-done, but I am totally flying solo today, so I hope that people will understand if it’s not a Perfect Bird.

I am worried about my mom and personally think that we need to go to Immediate Care, but she is having none of it. She’s just lying there, hair in total disarray, puking and groaning.

I have no idea whether my sister and her boyfriend and kids are going to show up, and truthfully I’m sort of hoping that they don’t. My mother doesn’t need the stress.

My stepdad, upon hearing this news, is undoubtedly going to flip out. He likes things the way they are and have always been, ad infinitum, and will not take kindly to a Mom-free Turkey Day.

I have green bean casserole and sweet potatoes in the oven, the turkey is done (I hope), and I’m working on the other sides as we speak.

The puking is sort of distracting me, though.

I hope that the J-Man and I don’t get this, whatever it is, and that she feels better soon. She looks fucking miserable.

Anyway, I hope that you all have a very happy Turkey Day, and if you’re the praying kind, send one up for my wee little mother.

Happy Thanksgiving.

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