November 25th, 2009 | Author: trancejen
So, my sister.
She showed up two nights ago to inform us that she and her boyfriend had been evicted.
Thankfully they had enough money to put their shit in storage, but they don’t have enough money to get their broken-down car fixed OR get another apartment.
They found a place to stay Monday night, but she sent the two older kids to stay with their paternal grandmother so that they could still go to school. Baby-Daddy Number One is still in jail.
She showed up yesterday morning with the baby and Baby-Daddy Number Two. He had to walk an hour and a half away to go to work, and she planned to just stay here.
The issue with this is that my stepfather was coming over, and he has a Problem with all of this. He barely accepts his daughter, let alone her half-black children. It’s sad.
She made a few calls to some apartment buildings and generally just sort of sat around with me and watched movies.
The baby is so cute. So cute. It breaks my heart that she’s starting out life like this.
At about six, Baby-Daddy Two shows up, home from work, and parks it on the couch, too. He starts to make calls to find another place to stay, because apparently the place they stayed Monday night said, “Don’t let the door hit you in the ass.”
At this point I was getting nervous, so nervous that at one point I actually puked.
We just don’t have the room for them. At all. Nor do we have the money to get their car fixed or pay for a security deposit for them for a second time. They didn’t actually ask for money this time, but the question was pretty much hanging in the air.
My stepdad was livid. He wound up actually leaving and going home, barely talking to them at all.
Finally at about ten o’clock last night, someone came and picked them up, but I believe they are coming over here again today.
I don’t know what to do for my sister. She doesn’t appear to be looking for a job, even though she could get free child care through the city. She doesn’t say much about this whole situation.
Her boyfriend actually told me that his family hates her and thinks she’s mooching off of him and using him for money. They apparently told him to kick her to the curb a long time ago.
The guy is so stressed out that I’m worried he’ll do it, and then what?
I don’t know. I’m mainly worried for the kids. It’s such a fucking mess.
In other news, a friend and reader of mine is up shit’s creek, and I wonder whether anyone can help.
Mo was mugged and had money orders stolen that were supposed to pay for her rent, health insurance, and car insurance. She’s out quite a bit of cash and asked whether I could post a link to her Paypal account, should any of you be in a position to help her out with a few bucks.
I appreciate this. Thank you.
The Paypal email is as follows: used.yet.new@gmail.com
I’m thinking of you, Mo.
In still other news, I am emotionally exhausted. More news later.
Happy Wednesday.
My god. I hope everything works out for all parties involved.
It’s just a mess. I really don’t know what to do.
Dear Jen,
Thank you so much for posting this for me; you are a true dear. I hope that at some point in ‘real life’ our paths can cross.
Have a great Thanksgiving!
I hope so too.
And you, too.
Whenever I see children in these precarious situations, it always makes me really tired. I think of how hard they’re going to have to work to overcome all the disadvantages they grew up with, or in the alternative, how complicated their lives will be if they don’t work to overcome the disadvantages. I feel for them and always says a silent prayer for them to be filled with strength, pluck and courage. They’re going to need it.
I’ve been dealing with the fallout of my sister’s bad decisions for the past couple of years by taking custody of her son who she abandoned. He has emotional and drug problems and is in foster care. From experience, there is only so much you can do and when her problems become yours, well enough is enough. You can’t rescue everyone and you shouldn’t try. Boundaries boundaries boundaries. That kid sure is cute and I’m sure that makes it harder. Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family. Here’s to better times. Clink!
Are Child and family services (or whatever it’s called where you are) involved? Not saying your sister is abusing her kids but being assigned a social worker might be helpful to your sister. Would put someone else in charge of helping her with her issues (someone with the training and awareness of available services). It could also keep your sister accountable because they would be working with her on goals to keep the kids safe. I know everybody has different feelings on social services and I don’t know what they are like in your area… but thought I would put it out there. As a way you can help without her problems becoming yours. (you can call confidentially).
I think I missed a post or some back history. Your mother isn’t married, is she? So who is the step father? If he’s an ex husband, why is he still around? If he’s a current husband, why doesn’t he live w/you guys?