Archive for October, 2009
October 23rd, 2009 | Author: trancejen
I got up at five-thirty without the aid of an alarm, so amped am I for this trip.
I found a service called People Movers, who are kindly (and because I am paying them) picking me up at eight to go to the airport.
Yesterday a full hundred messages flew between Amy and I as we prepared to get on the road. We are meeting at the Minneapolis airport and heading to the hotel, and tonight there will be sushi and karaoke.
I’m so excited. I haven’t seen Amy in years, and I am so overdue for a little vacation.
If you’re a local and I have your number, I will be calling you when I get into town.
Assuming I don’t pass out first from a lack of sleep. Ack.
See you on the flip side.
Happy weekend.
October 21st, 2009 | Author: trancejen
I think I’m packed. I don’t know, are three dresses, two pairs of jeans, three pairs of pants, and five shirts enough for one weekend?
I may have a problem.
I won’t even tell you how many shoes I’m taking, because I would be embarrassed.
What’s really irritating me is this quart ziploc bag rule that the airline has thoughtfully initiated in order to ensure that the terrorists don’t win. It’s a shame, because I was just reading about toothpaste and hair conditioner and how I could utilize them to easily blow up the person in back of me who will not stop kicking at my seat. That would have been handy, but no, I can only take a quart-sized bag full of toiletries, so, plans foiled.
Charlie Bartlett hd I’m not going to bring shampoo and conditioner in hopes that the hotel will have some decent stuff. simply because I have no room.
Does deodorant count as a gel? I have no idea.
I’m not taking labeled bottles of medication, and if they want to take my shit away I will drop and have a seizure RIGHT THERE. That’ll learn ‘em.
As you may have guessed, I LOVE to fly with only carry-on luggage.
The Business film Blindness film
I do love the airport, though. I have a serious thing for airports. There are Stores! And Bars! And Food! And Starbucks! They’re like fucked up little mini-malls, and I love them. I love people-watching at the airport, too, particularly when people get as irritated as me in the security line. That’s entertainment.
The Lost City movie Last night was the J-Man’s parent-teacher conference, in which I was told that the J-Man is an excellent child who behaves really well.
“It’s because we beat him,” I replied.
It took the teacher a minute to realize that I was joking.
The Chronicles of Riddick: Dark Fury video I never learn with the Lutherans.
Happy Wednesday.
October 17th, 2009 | Author: trancejen
Amusement dvdrip …how huge my child is now, this is how huge:
I'M ON UR LAPTOP, MESSIN UP UR WORLD
Yeah. I’m officially old.
The Chronicles of Riddick: Dark Fury buy
The Fall download They Shoot Horses, Dont They? dvd The School of Rock hd
Happy weekend.
October 15th, 2009 | Author: trancejen
I’ve been having a long e-mail conversation with a friend about sexual predators today.
If you’re a woman, do you feel afraid? Are you cautious when you walk to your car or walk around the block? Do you lock all of your doors? Do you sometimes let that fear prevent you from doing things you would like to do?
I’m interested to hear what people think.
Considering the fact that I was once a victim of sexual assault, I am careful. I watch people vigilantly. I try always to be aware of my surroundings. I am moderately afraid of dating again. I do feel that there is a hefty percentage of men out there who would hurt me or another woman if given half a chance.
I didn’t used to be this way.
I used to be a card-carrying member of the People Are Basically Good club. Perhaps more importantly, I used to believe that ninety-nine percent of men out there bore me no ill will.
It’s sort of sad to evolve in this fashion.
I’ve been through enough therapy (and am on enough meds, let’s call a spade a spade) that I no longer feel like a victim, but there will always, always be that little annoying voice in the back of my mind that tells me to be afraid.
Very afraid.
How do you feel about this issue?
Hit me up in the comments.
October 14th, 2009 | Author: trancejen
I don’t know if I’ve ever told this story, but here it goes:
Despite my overwhelming fear of spiders, I used to have a tarantula.
My dad bought him for me when I was nine years old, and he didn’t seem so much like a spider. He was more like a hamster with extra feet.
Everybody loved Herman, and why not? He was furry. He was a novelty. He was easy to care for. he was fun to show off.
Herman ate crickets, and my dad would pay the neighborhood kids a nickel for each cricket we caught for him. Being a money-hungry Capricorn, I was all over this. I spent my after-school hours digging furiously behind garbage cans in the alley, searching for the little beasts, which Herman would suck down greedily while we all watched and said, “Oooo”.
He was sort of cute, really. He would walk up your arm and sit on your shoulder like a small furry parrot. I did my science project on him and wound up in the local newspaper.
My mom, however, did not think he was even remotely cute. My mom hated Herman with the passion she normally reserved for hating my ugly black shoes. She wouldn’t even walk near the aquarium, and kids who came to the back door bearing crickets were shunned. My father was never forgiven for being the kind of nut who would spontaneously purchase a large arachnid.
One night, hours after I’d gone to bed, I was awakened by a piercing scream.
I ran out of my bedroom and into the living room to find my mother pointing at the tank and shrieking, “THERE ARE TWO OF THEM! THERE ARE TWO OF THEM!!!”
Herman had shed his skin.
It took my mom a glass of wine and a good hour to calm down, and I will never forget the level of fear I saw in her eyes. I only saw that fear once more during my life, and it’s when I told her I was pregnant at the age of 24.
My parents had a Conversation, and the next day, we donated Herman to the Purdue Calumet University science lab; where he most likely met an untimely death at the hands of some dissecting tools.
He was a good pet. Maybe I’ll get one for the J-man.
Happy Wednesday.
October 13th, 2009 | Author: trancejen
So, enough about fat. I certainly have enough of it on my ass to feed a small underdeveloped nation, and that’s about as far as my expertise extends.
I was complaining about the size of my ass and how people from my hood frequently shout, “DAAAAMN, girlfriend got a Ghetto Booty!” and I immediately got a direct message from some guy wanting to know whether I had a small waist.
Aaaaand, Block.
I don’t, by the way. I think the only thing I could call small would be my wrists. And I love them.
In other news, tell me what you would have done in this situation. (It’s boring, but hell, so is 9/10 of my content these days.)
Foofoo lives down the block from us. He hasn’t come over to play with the J-Man in about two years, because his older brother calls the J-Man “gay”.
Right. Great reason, huh?
Anyway, at eight o’clock last night Foofoo shows up at my door, wanting to see the J-Man. Great, I thought. Maybe they were going to start to play together again and the kid told his brother to stuff it.
Nope. He came over strictly to borrow a Playstation controller, mumbling something incomprehensible about needing it for a game.
The J-Man willingly and gladly coughed up the controller as I sat on the couch biting back a “Hell, No”.
Obviously the J-Man is a much nicer and more forgiving person than I am. Would you have given the kid the controller? I would not have, and I think I would have said something like, “No, you can’t use my gay homosexual controller.”
But that’s just me.
In still other news, I have tried spraying the Bad Cat with water to no avail. She simply shakes it off and continues in her path of wayward destruction and evil doings.
I’m going to have to invest in the canned air, and I’m going to enjoy scaring the hell out of her.
In still other news, my plan is to quit smoking before the move, because my stepdad’s house is a smoke-free zone. This is a good thing, because obviously I am too lazy/cold/disinclined to go outside for a square.
I’m looking into Chantix. Initially I balked at the price, because my insurance damn sure won’t cover it (they of course cover erectile dysfunction medication, weight loss medication, and birth control – bastards), but I figure I’m probably spending almost that much on cigarettes anyway.
Ah, cigarettes. I shall miss you and your siren’s song.
Anyone tried Chantix? Success? Failure? Insanity? Anything?
I found a great company called People Movers that is willing to drive me to the airport and back for not so insane a price. Score.
This trip is shaping up to be great. Lots of plans are being made, and best of all I get to room with my friend Amy who I have not seen in YEARS.
Plus, did I mention there will be roller derby?
Roller derby. I swoon.
I’m a little nervous about the karaoke, because I have not karaoked in an extremely long time and will probably sound like Barry White being shanked, but it’s all good.
There will also be sushi. Yours truly has never tried sushi, because I am generally not a seafood eater and am very afraid of thing that are raw, but I’m going to give it the old college try. Any recommendations on sushi that does not taste too fishy and will not put me into a poisonous coma?
Your comments are, as always, the light of my life.
Happy Tuesday.
October 12th, 2009 | Author: trancejen
There’s an interesting debate over on Sundry’s blog comments about fat and fit and does being fit make one anti-fat?
I don’t think it does. Granted, as of this writing I am overweight, but I have been on both sides of the fence (and I’ve taken both sides to the extreme, to boot).
I have weighed as much as two hundred and fifty pounds and as little as 108 at my current height of 5′11. I now fall somewhere in the middle, and while I can’t really say I’m completely comfortable with that, I also can’t say that I feel unreasonable envy or spite toward the thin.
I saw and heard and felt a lot of this while I was thin, though. For sure. I was dismissed from weight loss conversations as being too thin to have an opinion, mocked, called a “skinny bitch”, you name it. It hurt. I know that sounds so weak, like “skinny bitch got her tiny feelings hurt”, but it did hurt.
I’m all for the fat-positive movement if it works for you, but it certainly seems like a lot of “fat-positive” women are “thin-negative”, and that I don’t get. Does it somehow make me less of a woman if I’m thin and more of a well-rounded (if you’ll pardon the expression) woman if I’m fat?
Most thin women do not hate fat if it’s not on their bodies. And as far as the fat on their bodies, don’t they possess every right to hate it? I fucking hate fat on me, but if you weigh three hundred pounds and actually feel good, then good on you. I wish I could feel that comfortable with myself at a higher weight, truly, but the truth is that I don’t. I feel short of breath and uncomfortable and tired when I’m overweight.
In the workplace I found this thin-hating mentality to be unsettling. If I mentioned going to the gym or if I ate a light lunch, ladies in my office tended to snark, “Yeah, like you need it,” or “Don’t you ever eat?” with unbridled disgust.
Demonsamongus divx Thankfully no one would be so disgusted by me now. Heh.
If you’re happy with your body and reasonably healthy, I think that’s all that matters. If you’re pro-fat I think you understand very well what the health consequences of being overweight are, and I can only assume that you’re willing to live with those consequences. If you’re a fit person who eats right and works out, you’re obviously working toward a healthy lifestyle.
This is not to say that I am anti-fat. I think that I understand better than most what it’s like to be fat, and to live with those little mini-judgments that follow you around like footprints. Those judgments, while seemingly unfair, do have some basis in reality. If you are overweight you *are* more likely to have diabetes, heart problems, joint problems, asthma, and other maladies. That’s the truth, and saying it does not mean that I don’t like overweight people or that I feel that overweight people are ignorant of these facts.
Most fat people know damned well what they’re in for. I know I did. I didn’t exercise and I ate like shit.
I also know that I personally have not always taken the high road when it comes to being fit.
After all, there were times that I didn’t eat. I did over-exercise. I did have poor health due to malnutrition and exhaustion and overuse of diet pills and bulimia and living on coffee and cigarettes.
Food is a terrible addiction, mostly because you damn sure can’t avoid it, but the lack of food found in the eating disordered can be just as debilitating a problem.
To this day, unless I’m eating out I mostly live on cereal. I find it to be a safe food and the brands I buy contain a lot of vitamins. It probably isn’t the healthiest way to live, but neither was living at two hundred and fifty pounds, shoveling down burritos and completely neglecting exercise.
I’m not saying that it’s impossible to be fat and healthy, but it is improbable that you’ll be very healthy if you don’t modify your lifestyle as you age. As my mother says, you don’t see too many elderly fat people.
On the flipside, you don’t see very many elderly anorectics, either. Obviously balance is key.
I’m sure that this will piss some people off, but this is just how I see the issue. Your mileage may vary.
I just find it to be disconcerting that someone can go to Sundry’s website – healthy Sundry, who just completed a fucking triathlon, for shit’s sake – and bitch about her implied insensitivity to fat people.
It’s hard to find a perfect state of being regarding food and weight, but I think that trying constitutes being well on your way. I think a complete lack of trying shows that you either don’t give a shit or don’t want to bother, which is fine for you, but not for me. I give a shit. I might give too much of a shit at times, but I do give a shit.
I don’t think overweight people are lazy or stupid. I think that they often don’t want to face the consequences of their actions, though. Same thing I think about the actively-eating disordered.
I don’t know. It’s very hard for me to not be thin anymore, but I don’t let myself grow green with envy. I simply work toward what I want, which is a healthy weight.
If you’re overweight and you’re working on it, kudos to you. If you’re not working on it and you don’t want to, that’s your choice.
I’m a smoker. I know goddamned well that it’s an evil, smelly, self-destructive habit that is probably going to land me in an iron lung someday, but I continue to suck down the cancer sticks. Some people find this to be both stupid and repugnant. It IS stupid and repugnant, but I’m not going to quit until I’m good and ready. That’s my choice, and I will deal with the consequences.
Maybe it’s like that with weight.
Or maybe a lot of overweight people are perfectly happy with their respective levels of fitness and body images. All I know is that I was not. I don’t think anyone should be stung or shunned for wanting to be fit and lose weight.
Hopefully I’m not alienating anyone, here. It’s obviously a very complicated issue that can become very heated.
That’s my spiel.
Happy Monday.
October 11th, 2009 | Author: trancejen
It’s so damned cold I can’t stand it. This, coupled with the massive allergy attack I am having from cleaning out closets today, is driving me crazy. We seem to have completely bypassed fall for winter, and I hate it. I swear I am eventually going to head for a warmer climate. I have sneezed at least fifty times in the past hour, and if you’ve had a baby you know that this is dangerous terrain I’m treading on. We of the Weak Pelvic Floor do not take kindly to all this sneezing.
All of my summer clothes have been purged and replaced with heavy sweaters and long-sleeved tops. It’s a little sad.
Yesterday the neighbors threw a bash complete with bouncy house, and the J-Man crashed the party, staying until seven o’clock at night. I bought a gift for the little girl and sent it over today, but I hope that they don’t think I’m one of Those Parents, parents who don’t ever know where their kids are and don’t care.
Pigpen’s parents are Those Parents. They send the kid out in shorts and a t-shirt in forty-degree weather and don’t bother to check on him all damned day. I gave his little stinky ass a couple of the J-Man’s old coats, and he seemed to be happy about it.
Yes, Pigpen is still here all day, every day, world without end, Amen. I have to admit that he’s generally a very polite kid, and for that reason alone he’s starting to grow on me.
I’m already packing for my trip and have realized that I have a Clothing Problem, in that I already have eight outfits pulled for three days. Don’t even ask me about shoes. Imelda Marcos had less of a shoe problem than I have.
The Ghosts of Girlfriends Past
I’m kind of obsessed with ballet flats and leggings this year. Both are supposedly “in”, but I can’t get over the feeling that I am wearing Fat Pants out in public.
In other news, my father sent me a rather enlightening article regarding the insane markups they put on prescription drugs. For example, the cost to make 100 Claritin is .71, but they are sold to the public at 215.17. Ridiculous. The point is that Costco sells their prescription meds for very little above cost, so if you’re near one and have shitty insurance, you should check it out.
That’s my tip for the day. My other tip is “don’t eat yellow snow”.
Happy Sunday.
October 9th, 2009 | Author: trancejen
So in two weeks, I am going to Minneapolis with my imaginary internet friends, and I cannot fucking wait. Seriously, I am like one of those little yapping dogs I hate, jumping and jumping and jumping and OH GOD JUST HIT IT WITH A STICK ALREADY. This is how hyper I am about this trip. I will probably even pee on someone’s leg due to my overwhelming excitement. Here’s hoping it’s not You.
There are plans, people, actual grown-up plans involving karaoke and drinking and dancing and talking and ROLLER DERBY, bitches. Roller-frickin’-Derby. I cannot WAIT.
I probably can’t afford this trip, but airfare was so cheap that I practically peed myself (peeing seems to be a common theme in this entry), 98 bucks for Both Ways, and I had to bite the bullet and do it. What I did not have to do was also charge new shoes and a new bag. I did not have to do that, but I sure did, because I have a credit card Problem.
You be sure to admire my new shoes and new bag now, friends, because it’s all for you.
Oh, I cannot wait.
As a result of this happiness, I am hyper. And to add to that hyperactivity, I drank a pot of coffee this morning. I am so hyper right now that I am grinding my teeth down into little nubs, but I’m going to be a toothless, new-bag-and-shoes-having bitch in Minneapolis, baby. That’s right.
I have nothing of value to say right now, except maybe SQUEE, which in retrospect is not all that valuable.
If you’re in MN and want to meet up, give me a holler.
Happy Friday. Oh, happy Friday.
October 7th, 2009 | Author: trancejen
If you are a fellow crazy-pill taker and haven’t been to this site, then you are sorely missing out. TONS of information for your crazy little head.
I was wondering yesterday when my kid is going to “get” that I’m on crazy pills. The words Cymbalta and Abilify are tossed around like mad in this house; and considering the fact that there is a commercial playing for one of the two at all times, I wonder when he’s going to put two and two together and realize that I’m not just crazy when I’m yelling about homework but am, in fact, a Bonafide Crazy Person.
Just something I thought about.
In other news, I will pimp-slap the next person who tells me how fucking great it is to be a stay-at-home mom.
My stepdad comes home for lunch every day and tells me how much he hates his job and how lucky I am to not be working.
Maybe if I could drive, it would be a different story, but the truth of the matter is that I Cannot and am therefore Stuck like a Motherfucker.
I hate it.
I worked sixty hours a week until the J-Man was two and I thrived on it, because to me there is nothing worse than sitting around like a slug with only the idiot box for company. Once your house is clean and organized, there isn’t a goddamn thing to do but sit and watch TV or lounge on the internet or craft, and I am Bored of crafting.
I know that many jobs are The Suck, but damn, I would give my left nipple to have one. To go to an office and interact with actual adults who are not related to me. To drink too much coffee for an actual reason, and not just because I’m as bored as hell.
I will never stop missing being a fast-paced working mom. It was hands-down the best time of my life.
Sometimes I am as angry as hell at my body for stealing that away from me.
In other news, I baked coconut cookies last night. I ate exactly one cookie and woke up two pounds heavier. Life Is Not Fair.
And so that you may enjoy being fat too, here is the recipe. They’re very easy and very good.
Jen’s Coconut Fat Cookies
Point of No Return divx Ingredients:
*1 1/4 cups flour
*1/2 teaspoon of baking soda
*dash of salt
*1/2 cup butter
My Friends Tigger & Poohs Friendly Tails video Skull Heads full movie
*1/2 cup packed brown sugar
*1/2 cup white sugar
*1 egg
*1 teaspoon full of vanilla
*1 1/2 cups flaked coconut
Preheat over to 350. голова болит секс
Combine dry ingredients and set aside.
Cream butter and sugars until smooth. Beat in the egg and vanilla until fluffy.
Blend in the dry ingredients, and then mix in the coconut.
Drop by teaspoonfuls on a cookie sheet, about 3 in. apart.
Bake for 8-10 minutes, and cool on wire racks.
Enjoy your fatness.
Happy Wednesday.
