I don’t know anything about the inner workings of A spider’s eyes, nor do I want to, nor do I want to even think about it, because that would mean getting up close and personal with a spider and now I am going to have nightmares, thank you very much Junior High School Science.

I also don’t know shit about geometry. Shapes are fine and great but when it comes down to determining their mass or volume or whatever I am lost. Hopelessly lost.

My son looks at me, perplexed. “Didn’t you LEARN this stuff??”

download El Cid: The Legend movie Why yes, I’m sure I did, but my retention of geometry and spider-eye-workiness has been zero, and I am surprisingly OK with that.

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download Trailer Park Boys: The Movie dvd Things I do know an awful lot about?

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I know how to entertain a cat. I gave the cat a series of sparkly little craft pom-pons and she is running around flipping over herself with rapture and glee.

I know vocabulary words. This is one of my son’s worse subjects, and thankfully I am all about the English language, and hey, not just the swearing! Who knew?

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I now know never to order anything from Japan on eBay, even if it has free shipping, because the child comes home every day, bursts in the door, and yells, “IS IT HERE??” and no, it is not here, not for four weeks.

I know mascara, and even though it is sort of expensive, Lancome’s Hypnose is the bomb and will not make your eyes red, weeping slits like the drugstore brands.

I do not know how I am going to move. We have so much stuff, people. So much. Garages full. A basement full. I could be like my neighbor and hold a yard sale every weekend, and STILL we would be besieged with stuff. Candles. Old electronics. Every bath and body product known to man, in every scent. I had no idea we were packing this much crap until I started to sift through it, and man, this move is going to be a bitch.

I do know that I PAID THAT BILL and will you STOP calling me and HERE is a check number, now Leave Me Alone. These medical billing places are rife with bitches. I know from experience that one has to be kind of a bitch to do collections, but Jesus, I have a check number. Get off my back.

I got charged for my yearly Pap smear, which is something I think Medicaid should pay for simply because it is such a mind-blowingly uncomfortable experience.

I also got charged fifty bucks for seeing the shrink for five whole minutes, during which he told me he can tell I am doing much better because I am wearing makeup. What insight!

If he saw me every day, wearing the same Tegan and Sara shirt and paint-stained yoga pants with a cigarette hanging stupidly out of my mouth, he would probably have me committed.

I have a basement full of fabulous shoes and not-terribly-out-of-style clothes, and yet I am filled with sloth and only wear elasticized pants and concert t-shirts, shoeless.

I am so deep in this rut that I may never find my way out.

I am starting to realize, though, that I need to start to branch out socially. I have no idea how to do this, but maybe it involves going out bar-hopping with my father or something, since he seems to be the most popular guy in the city.

download Dragon Hill. La colina del dragon dvd Daddys Little Girls dvdrip My weekends have been filled with slack, and it should probably change before I move out to the middle of nowhere and have absolutely no shot at a social life.

Another thing I don’t know? I don’t know why Tom DeLay is on Dancing With The Stars. This scares me more than I can say.

Happy Thursday from the hermit.

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