I’m watching the coffee bleed into the pot and still remaining astonished by life.

Everything is stare-worthy these days. My kid! My kid, featuring newly minted contact lenses, is a wonder. When the hell did he start looking so desperately OLD? He turns eleven this coming Saturday!

When did I get so old?

I’m boning up on my driver’s etiquette so that I can get my license back, and I’m polishing up my resume so that I can get a job. Hopefully this vision will stick around and both these things will come to pass by the end of the summer.

My mother is cautious. “Don’t drive yet!” “Don’t work yet – you don’t know whether this is permanent! Stay on disability!”

I am so over the moon that I refuse to believe that this is temporary. I want to drive NOW, to go flying down Lake Shore Drive like it’s my mission in life. I want a job NOW, something with great benefits and possibility for advancement (don’t we all).

I need these things. I thought that they were gone forever, that I would spend the rest of my life holed up in this house, but I was wrong.

I’ve never been more happy to be wrong.

I sort of feel like none of you who read this blog have really met Jen. You don’t know the Jen who is driven, motivated, who works hard and plays equally hard. You don’t know this Jen with stars in her perfect, working eyes.

You know a Jen that I hope to God to leave behind. Disability Jen. Jen who sits, waiting for something better to come along. A sad Jen.

I can’t wait for life to begin again.

Happy Sunday.

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