January 20th, 2009 | Author: trancejen
So, the shit pill, AKA Alli.
I am a huge, HUGE fan of the Shit Pill. Since October, I’ve managed to lose 28 (28 now! Yay!) pounds without really changing anything about my diet.
Anything.
Granted, I would probably be losing more wight more quickly if I actually got off of my fat ass, exercised, and ate better, so now we are moving into Phase Two – Jen Kicks It Up A Notch, in which I plan to actually walk on the treadmill every day and stop horking down fast food.
Also, since I am incredibly stupid and will buy absolutely anything advertised on the teevee tout de suite, I ordered a Bender Ball.
Try not to laugh at my charming naivete.
I didn’t order off of the teevee, per se, but elected to order it via eBay instead, so that I will not receive a rash of unwanted videos.
It arrived yesterday, deflated, in a little box with a DVD.
Seriously, folks, I could have purchased this ball from a 99-cent rack at Wal-Mart. I don’t know what sort of steel-enforced technological wonder I envisioned, but the Bender Ball is not it.
I’ll have to try it out for a few weeks and let you all know whether I change my mind.
Anyway, you want to hear about Alli.
I was frankly a little worried about taking the stuff, myself, given the fact that some people have adverse reactions like “anal leakage” (shitting yourself most indelicately), but I’ve taken far worse for no good reason at all, so I decided to give it a shot.
Really, it isn’t so bad. The first few days I most certainly had to be close to a bathroom and my stomach felt as if it was flipping and flopping into a frenzy, but that’s about it. No anal leakage. No marathon pooping. Just normal old pooping. And as a “reluctant pooper” who generally pooped once a week, if that, this was a wonderful side effect.
What’s I’m wondering is whether normal poopers all became super poopers. Perhaps my natural reticence was a factor in avoiding the dreaded Butt Drip, and if so, I hate to recommend something that would have others wringing out their intestines.
Still, I’m incredibly happy with the results so far, and I plan to start eating a little better in order to move the process along a little faster.
The Shit Pill directions make it seem as if you cannot eat fat for fear of A Bad Thing, but I haven’t found that to be so. I went through the holidays on this stuff, ate fast food, pizza, and whateverthehell as much as I wanted to. Maybe I just lucked out, but I’m not about to complain.
I recommended it to my girlfriend that cuts my hair yesterday, so I’ll have to let you know how a self-proclaimed “normal pooper” does on Alli.
In conclusion, it is nice to poop without having to take extreme measures.
Let that be your mantra for the day, should you poop freely.
Frankly I’m scared to use it because of the proximity of the restroom to my workspace, and the fact that we have to share said restroom with the general public. Maybe I should try it on a weekend? Anyway, 28 lbs gone is awesome, Jen! Keep us updated!